2008

Christmas Blessings

We have been abundantly blessed this Christmas with gifts....

We were given another turkey blessing from a dear, sweet friend.


The Christmas adoption thing was amazing! We have never been adopted b4. I did not expect much but we recieved 57 gifts in all! As I looked thru them b4 Christmas morn. all I could do was cry as I saw who they were all from...HBC.




Merry Christmas!

The Illuminator

He is the illuminator - decorating His chosen one's with His fruit. His girl becoming a display of His splendor -

An ornament of praise
An ornament of faith
An ornament of Hope
An ornament of love
An ornament of Him.

The perfect Tree that stands forever. I in Him and Him in me. Wrapped in grace and encircled with His ribbon of love, I shine brightly in His Kingdom, the King of Glory in me.

Ornament

A couple weeks ago my pastor started a message series called "Ornament". The parts that spoke to me was at the beginning and the end. The message started off with the Christmas story beginning with a tree, a family tree. And when we read it we find that luminaries like Abraham, Rahab, and David hang like life ornaments from this tree. We want to take the ornaments off the tree and learn there life lessons and ornament our life with those things. The first one being Abraham.
In the end he said to decide to ornament our lives, to decorate ourselves, ornament ourselves.
Since then the H.S has been carrying this Christmas like ornament theme with me. Not to mention how trippy it is that the message should be on Gen. 22. I have been studying Gen. in the B.M. book, The Patriarchs and the last video I saw was on Gen.22. So, I got a double dose on obedience.
Recently during worship the Lord showed me how He is the illuminator...

The Royal Party

I was reading in Esther this morning. Chapter one. And I noticed something I never saw b4. The royal banquet that the King threw lasted for days. 180 days. That's one huge partay. But then the King didn't just have one, but there were 3 royal party's all together.
One for all the king's nobles and officials...
One for all the people, from greatest to least who were in Susa...
And One that Queen Vashti threw for the women in the royal palace of the King.
Can you imagine? I'm not so sure I would have been able to hang that long. But then part of me wonders what it must have been like...
I have never been invited to nor attended a royal party like the ones the book of Esther talks about. I mean, sure I been to party's but none with the word royal in front of it and not quite as exquisite as the Bible talks about these ones being.
As I read this story I'm reminded of the royal party going on in the heavenlies that were all invited to and I here Him whisper...

I AM on the Royal throne
Come boldly before Me
Whoever believes in the Lord Jesus Christ will be saved
Invited into a Royal banquet where I will display the riches of My glory
And the splendor of My great majesty for you
For eternity
Everyone
From greatest to least
Is invited into the courts of the King
There you will experience My beauty
Decorated in the garden of My presence
Filled with righteousness and revelation
Held by cords of truth and grace
Resting confidently in eternal life
There is an abundance of royal wine that I have to give you
According to My bounty, not man's.
This is the royal party I have for you.

This Way

I was on my way to R.I last night when the H.S directed me another way, to my church for the next prayer meeting that was going on. It's amazing to hear what the Spirit is saying thru every ones prayers. The heart, His heart, that beats for this church is going strong and I think, getting stronger by the minute as His saints rise up and call Him Blessed. Cuz it's all about Him...Can't wait to see wut He does tonight!

Prayer Night

My church had a prayer meeting last night and I got to go. I don't think I will go back tonight though cuz I want to go to R.I. and then I hope to see my whole family plus 1 extra go to church for 1st Wednesday.
I even prayed last night, a couple times. I prayed for a supernatural boldness to go all by myself and then to speak b4 I went. It's very scary for me. I think this was good for me though, I see it helping to prepare me for what else is to come.
We did an ABC prayer thing with who God is and I wrote down as many as I could. It was neat. I will post it in another post, since I don't know how much space it's gonna take.

Turkey Blessings

Another thing I can add to the blessing/favor list...
HBC teamed up with the local police dept. and delivered turkeys to family's in our city. Yesterday we got a surprise knock on the door....A woman with 2 little girls delivered our family a turkey and a few extra things. Someone put our family on the list...This is so unbelievably awesome to me.
God just continues to blow my mind!

Hooray!!

Two of my boys asked Jesus into there heart this past Sunday at church. They each received a Spiritual Birth Certificate.


4 year old Tommy.


5 year old Luke.

His Favor

So I noticed that God has been giving me favor at HBC. The cup of blessings has been overflowing and I am in awe at what He is doing in my life. This is what the Lord has filled the cup with so far...
lunch paid for
book given
C.R when ever I want and I get to ride with 2 wonderful woman of God.
A woman who has been in recovery for like 20 yrs that offered to be my sponsor.
I got invited in and joined there little homeschool group.
Invited to do a woman's bible study. We started last Mon. and it's a Beth Moore one.
And the latest, someone wants to adopt my family of 8 for Christmas.
This has all been in such a short amount of time, and all of it is coming from this one church. I am just overwhelmed and in awe of His goodness towards me.

Wed. Thankful 5

1. Royal Identity

2. Music

3. God's love

4. sick kids(there calmer that way)

5. The Word of God

Thankful 5

So the pastor at C.A. is doing a series called Thank God. At the end of the message yesterday he said something about writing a thankful list. I'm gonna write my 5 things I am thankful for everyday this month. Here's 5 things I thank God for today...

1. rain

2. the computer(so I can blog)

3. color

4. church

5. encouragement from friends

A Thankful Heart

I am gonna try something new. When I pray I will only pray thankful prayers and thats it. I got this idea from my sister. I started last night and will continue through out November. In doing this I hope to rid myself of negative, complaining, discontent, unbelieving prayers to God. And change my way of thinking to a thankful heart.

Church

God is totally changing my idea of church. My idea of church is only a mere human idea that exists in so many ways to glorify man, not the creator of the universe, the creator of church and all.
I realize that I have been carrying an unseen guilt this whole time. I am guilty...

For attending another churches woman's ministry...And I like it.
For attending another church the past couple of weeks.
For being able to discern the voice of God...sometimes so easily.
For listening to motivational speakers and other pastors messages.
For preaching and teaching that don't follow the order of the Book.
For seeing in the spirit.
For my enthusiasm when it comes to Him.
For being bored in certain christian circles.

Man, this list can go on and on and on. I have a lifetime of what man's idea of church is since I grew up in the church. With so many differences and different opinions I was taught that where ever I landed was the right one and all others are not in there right mind. Think about it, is this not what your church is teaching??
If you think not then I challenge you to think again. Oh they ain't gonna tell you straight up, they can't. But if you notice it comes out in other deceiving, manipulative ways. I am not saying that all churches are like this.
The guilt that I carry is man's idea not God's. And I don't want to be entangled in this humanistic, legalistic, prejudice thinking anymore. I want to follow His idea of what the church is and what it looks like. I want to be apart of the Holy Spirits church, the one most like Christ, the One that glorifys His name.

Cup of Blessings

I had one of those phenomenal days yesterday. It was just outa this world to me. I went back to my friends church again. No, I'm not switching churches, at least not that I know of. God hasn't showed me to leave my home church. But I am asking God to confirm that to me and to help me understand what He is doing right now.
I am not and was not looking to leave my home church when I visited this other church. I just did not expect to like it soooo much. I did not expect to see God so much at work in my life thru going there just 2 times. The plan as of now is for the whole family to visit there next weekend. I actually think my husband will love it.

So the whole reason I went back is cuz when I visited the first time, during worship He told me to "come back" and that He had something for me here. Doubtful that I even heard from Him correctly and scared cuz I thought He was wanting me to switch churches, I decided I wouldn't reason. And come the following Sunday He would again put it strongly on my heart to go back. And He did.

Anyways, the womens group there that is studying that Grace & Truth book gave me one so I can work on it this week. I am so excited about that. I hope to post my thoughts/notes, then again, I plan on blogging a lot of things that I never seem to get to.
I got to hook up with a couple ladies to attend C.R again. I will be going tonight for the first time in awhile. This is what I believe He had for me. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. But then theres more...
During worship He told me twice to "take this cup He has for me. It's filled with blessings." I didnt understand this but I have learned enough that if it's really His voice I am hearing(not audible) then He will reveal more whenever and however He wants and it will all come to pass.
I went out to lunch with a friend and at the end the waiter told her the gentleman that just left paid for our ticket. That was 7 of us including our children.
He is actually the worship pastor at her church. I wanted to cry. This took me back to when God first revealed Himself to me in a way I never experienced b4. And I reminisced how He loved on me that cloudy day in IHOP too.
Driving home I knew that the cup of blessings is filled with His goodness towards me.
And I think theres a lot more where that came from!

Girl of Truth & Grace

Sometimes I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. Somehow He makes me feel so special with the way He watches over me and my family. How He just leads and guides us and is forever there where ever we may go.
Recently I visited a friends church on a Sunday morning. I thought I was going to the first service but it turned out they only had one worship service which started at 11:00. I was there at 9:30, for the Lifegroup(small groups) time. I had two of my boys with me. The oldest went to the youth group and the other went to children's while I braved the long walk to the woman's only group.
Turns out they were studying a book by Randy Alcorn on truth and grace. Well the H.S had just started opening my eyes to what truth is a couple weeks ago. I still don't understand it all but I see how He is leading me into the truth of what truth really is. So far I got,
1. Truth is His Word
2. There is the whole truth. This is where it gets kinda tricky for me cuz if the
whole truth is there then there is a lot of Christians that claim to know the truth
and even go around preaching that truth to others but they themselves do not even
believe in the whole truth. What I am seeing is that so many of us pick and
choose what we want to believe out of the whole truth and leave the rest. And
this leads me to the third thing.
3. I'm not sure we will ever come to know the full truth until we reach heaven. Or can we?

So I'm at this church I never been to b4, in a small group, studying on truth and grace. I learned that you can't have truth without grace and you can't have grace without truth, there must be a balance. A verse that God pointed out to me is from John 1:14 - And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
So why do I feel so lucky? Somewhere in between my home church and Royal Identity(not my church nor the one I visited this past Sunday) there is being created in me a balance. As one girl put it, I get the best of both worlds. And this makes me feel so special. How He called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light in a world that is still searching for something more....
Lead me on and I will follow hard after You!

The Non-Addictive Drug

In my last post I talked about how challenging L.G. was for me.

So, wut was said that caused my uneasy feelings?

Well, first someone mentions the non-addictive drug. Call me stupid but I didn't know that weed was non-addictive. Back in the day I did not care about the scientifics of it(still don't) ya just smoked it. But now I understand that you can't get physically addicted to it. This is not to be confused with how it can become an addiction. Would one be able to walk in a 12 steps meeting and say they do the non-addictive drug??
This is where I started to feel just a little uneasy(but didn't realize it at the time)as it almost seemed like it was being dumbed down. I actually have an adult family member that is addicted to weed. At one point he tried stopping and his personality totally changed for the worse.

Lifegroup

L.G. was so challenging for me the last time I was there. I think it's so amazing how you can be in a conversation with a group of ppl, such as L.G., and no one really knowing how much there words are effecting ppl. In fact it was so challenging for me that I sat there thinking of how "I won't be coming back here for awhile."

*Religious Sidenote* the challenge is not with the ppl. *End Religious Sidenote*

It is far to easy to run away when the going gets tough...
However, that's the sissy way out and I am not a wimp! So I am going to continue to go and it may be challenging for me at times but that's where my growth will also occur. And also cuz I know that God wants me to go, for this very reason no doubt.

War

Theirs this thing in me
That I just cant see
yet it feels so real
Cuz well its reality

And after all these years
I finally come to see
the truth that's always been
the truth that's from heaven

Darn it! If only my words can tell
the way that I'm feeling
oh how You know me so well

Just when I think I'm having fun
You stop me in the middle of my life
to say "your done"

If only it was as easy as pie
I'd smoke another joint and get so high
And don't forget bout the coke and the crank
but to live in that mental addictive state
would only feed on my self hate

But wait
Is it so wrong
to wanna have a lil fun
At least it would take away the pain that Im feeling
the one that tells me Im hurting

I'm tired of all the mental confusion
the restless nights
and all this delusion
that keeps from knowing the truth

Truth - the only one that soothes the pain
Truth - the only one that keeps me sain
Truth - the reason why I fight
Truth - the thing that gives me insight
Truth - the reason why I've come so far
Truth - the reason I'm at WAR!

What's Pride Got To Do With It?

I think it was last Friday when God started working on this thing in me called pride. I had a revelation or something of how easily the spirit is grieved by my words. It saddened me that I would sadden Him like that. I'm just so thankful that He revealed this to me and that I can repent and receive forgiveness for my sins.
Since then He has revealed another area of my life that I have been prideful in as well. I am asking Him to humble me and continue to take out the pride that lurks deep within. I got a book on humility that's called umm, Humility, the forgotten virtue. My plan is to not just read thru it this time but to approach it more like a study and take that time to meditate on His Words of this sin called pride.

So I just thought of something. I think my blog could totally be renamed from Love~N~Beauty to What's Pride Got To Do With It?

Now I Stand

This is the song. I really had to take a step back and ask Him what are you telling me? And He said, Remember and stand in who you are in Me as you go thru this time of inner healing.


I have lived in the dust at His feet
Always thinking of the pain that caused His Heart
Many mocked as the perfume so sweet
Poured from my broken alabaster jar
You could hear the laughter of the enemy as he stole my dignity
But a greater voice said lift your head
As His hand reached out to me

Now I stand in the fullness of His grace
And He washes over me with the blood that sets me free
Now I stand as a priest and as a king
He has clothed me with His robe
Its the righteousness of God
I know who I am so I stand

I was clothed in a garment of shame
And the chains of my sin had left me bound
To weak to run I fell calling His name
A broken alabaster jar was all He found
But you could hear the army of the angels sing
When He restored my dignity
He dressed me as His spotless bride
It was a holy victory

Now I stand in the fullness of His grace
And He washes over me with the blood that sets me free
Now I stand as a priest and as a king
He has clothed me with His robe
Its the rightousness of God
I know who I am so I stand

Circle of Shame

In this vision I again saw myself with chains wrapped around my wrists and hands. I was dirty and wearing some white clothing that was all raggedy. I was standing in the middle of a circle and all around me was every guy in my life that ever did me wrong or I had sexual relations with. They were all laughing at me. Full of shame I fell to the ground in agony. Standing in front of me was Jesus. He reached out His hand, I took it and followed Him out of the circle.

The story that came to mind was when the pharisees took the adulterous woman to Jesus to be condemned. I sensed that this vision and the other one(heavens court) went together but wasn't certain. Until....He gave me a song.

Heavens Court

Back in August 07 I had a vision. I believe it goes along with the most recent one I had. I blogged it but never posted it cuz I didn't want anyone who may be reading this to think I was freaky. Especially ppl from my church. I am so glad I saved it in my posts cuz I didn't remember certain parts of it. This is why it's more important for me now to write things down. Anywayz, here it is....

Heavens Court
I saw myself in a court room. My hands and feet were in chains and I was standing before the Judge in tears. He said, "I have sustained you". "There is no accuser of the brethren"(Rev.12:10)
I saw the chains fall off and I knew He had freed me of all accusations. There was no juror. No documentation of everything I had done. Angels filled the seats. And when my chains fell off the angels stood and worshiped the Lord. I worshiped the Lord. And the whole room was filled with the glory of the Lord.

Free

In continuing my post from yesterday...

The next day I realized why my feelings of the past were becoming so overwhelming.
It was(and still is) the inner working of the H.S. on my heart. I knew my time had come to be set free from this particular area of my life. It's a process but one I choose to embrace for I know it is part of my destiny in Him. He gave me a song that day. It's called free by Ginny Owens.

Turnin' molehills into mountains,
Makin' big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
afraid I'll try real hard, and I'll fail--
This is how it's been.
Till the day You pounded on my heart's door,
And You shouted joyfully,
"You're not a slave anymore!"

Chorus:
"You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-even joyful noise is music to Me
You're free to love,
'Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I have set you free!

My mind finds hard to believe
That You became humanity and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
it's Then You're singing to me, as You remove my chains-


Free from worry, free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile

Seeking Peace, Wholeness & Freedom

Wow, I have had one incredibale week with One incredible God! There's just been so much going on with me spiritually that I am overwhelmed, in a good way though. It all started last Wednesday...

Stuff from my past was really bothering me. I just couldn't seem to shake it. It was like it was haunting me.

*sidenote* Some like to say that it's the enemy, he's the one that brings up your past not Jesus, rebuke it and cast those thoughts aside, you are free in Christ a new creation. While I do believe this there was just one problem. I ALREADY KNOW THIS!*end sidenote*

So I started questioning, what's wrong with me? Why is this bothering me so much? Is this gonna follow me for the rest of my life? It can't be possible, can it? If everyone teaches that you can have wholeness and it's what The Big Book says then my only question is how? How can I be free of this?

That night at H.L.G. when it was my turn to answer the question posed I confessed my fear of going closer to God and of the H.S and what others will think. They encouraged me to go for it. I also told a good friend of mine the feelings I had been having.
Speaking of...Joe just called and said he's on his way. That means I get to go tonight. I will be taking 2 of my kids plus a couple extra. I'm really excited about that. I think the home, church family, worship enviroment will be good for them to see.

Peace Out ~

Journaling

Well, it's been awhile. I miss blogging cuz it's the easiest way for me to keep journaling. I just haven't had time and I have trouble getting my thoughts together.
But I was looking thru my royal identity binder a couple days ago and I realized how much it means when you write things down. I want to record all that the Lord is doing in my life for myself just as much as for my kids. So I am gonna try and keep up.

I Am Chosen!

"For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption— that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the LORD.” ~ 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

The Father has been teaching me about His glory and what that looks like in my life. I learned that I am chosen by God Himself. It is His will for me to know His glory and for the Lord to be glorified in my life. And not only mine but in every Christ followers life. He wants to display His glory in me and through me. I have always known this right, but not in this way. My inadequacies and insecurities tell me His glory is not for me. I am not worthy enough. Other people may be but not me. I am only human right. But what I have been missing is I am a human made in His image by His divine design.
I am so honored to sit at His feet. I have been chosen to display His splendor, the Glory of the Lord.
I am a chosen generation of royalty and I am so honored. This is His love n beauty in me, His beauty for ashes is His glory from being broken to beautiful. That Beauty is His Glory in me, His daughter, that He may be glorified!!!

Scared

Two words. I'm scared. That's where I have been these past few months. Everything was going great. I was drawing close to God and He was drawing near to me but then I stopped cuz I didn't want to go any farther. I got scared. Scared of His presence and of His power. Scared of what others will think and there opinions of God in my life. He wants to take me to places I've never been and love on me like only He can.
And I don't want to be scared of Him anymore.

July Verse

If God is for us who can be against us? ~ Romans 8:31

A Gift - Book

I recieved a late birthday present from a friend recently. The book is called Come Away My Beloved. It has 365 meditations from the cherished books of Frances J. Roberts. This is one of the most beautiful books I've ever seen! Here is a sample...

Your Life Is As A Weaving
From Come Away My Beloved

Let the peace of God rule in your hearts.~ Colossians 3:15

Your life is as a weaving. From fabrics of lovely silk and from cords of rougher materials, I fashion what pleases Me. You may never know why certain experiences come. It is enough that My hand brings them all.
My grace is not limited by sorrow and difficulty. Indeed, it shines like a strand of gold mixed in with the black of grief. My hand moves with infinite love, and I am creating a pattern of intricate beauty.
Never be dismayed. For you are My workmanship, created in Christ.

June Verse

"Cause me to hear Your loving-kindness in the morning, for on You do I lean and in You do I trust. Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my inner self to You." Psalm 143:8

The End 2 Something New

With the start of summer vacation just around the corner, it feels like I am coming to an ending of a new beginning with my daughter. On June 4th(last day of school) we will celebrate what the Lord has done. And what has the Lord done? His grace has sustained us. He's brought us through. He has made what could have been a nightmare and worked everything out for the good for us. Yes, I had to make that choice to follow Him into the unknown but it's Him that kept us there. And it's Him that will continue to keep us there through the summer and into the new school in the fall as long as I put my trust in Him and not lean on my own understanding. Going thru it is hard and it hurts but in the end you get a heavenly reward that is out of this world.
Whats the reward?

Rest - Knowing I am in His will

Peace - Knowing that He is taking care of our past, present and future

Love - Because of His love I can have rest and peace.

Joy - "Let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy because thou defendest them" (Psalm 5:11)

May Verse

The Lord remembers us and will bless us. ~ Psalm 115:12

Friendships of Women ~ Book

So, I finally finished The Friendships of Women book. I read this book with a group of local woman that met once a month to discuss the book and pray.
It's a good book. If you wanna know about friendships then I recommend you read it. I really like the last chapter.
I read one of her older copies. It's since been revised and looks like her newest copy is 2006.(wish I had read this one!)
While reading this book I picked up another book I saw at Half Price written by the same author and coauthored with Kathy Troccoli. It's called Falling in Love with Jesus. I absolutely loved this book! I wrote a couple quotes from the book here. And you can find the authors website here.
I really like her website! The author wrote more books to go along with the books above. So over all, I like the author and will go on to read more of her books!

Happy Birthday Lianna!

April Verse

The Lord is my Strength and my Song...Exodus 15:2

Go and Sin no More

My pastors message yesterday was crazy awesome! God is using it as part of my healing process in my sexual brokenness. We read John 8:1-11 where Jesus tells the adulterous woman in verse 11 to go and sin no more. These words Go and sin no more carry a special meaning in my life.
When I was about twenty years old I moved in with my boyfriend whom I barley knew. He was an unbeliever. Having grown up in church I knew living with this man was not right. But I didn't care. The abuse started right away. I became pregnant and lost the baby around 3 months. A few months later I got pregnant again.
During my pregnancy I set out to read the bible all the way through. When I came to the story of Moses and Egypt the Lord pressed on my heart that I was living in an Egypt and He wanted to take me out of the land, I did not belong there. He even sent me an Aaron so to speak. My sister came and stayed with me while I had the baby.
The time came for my sister to leave. I couldn't stand the fact that I wasn't going with her like I knew I should. She left with promises from me that I would follow in 2 weeks. Those last 2 weeks were some of the hardest of my life as I prepared and planned my escape, wished and cried it all away.
It was around this time that I heard Rebecca St. James song, Go and Sin no more on the local christian radio. God was talking to me. "Go(get out of this place) And sin no more"
Fast forward to now, 12 years later and I'm sitting in church as a sexually broken woman listening to a message titled God & Sex - John 8:1-11. I just wanted to break down and cry tears of pain, tears of shame. Driving home Father reminded me of Go and sin no more. He said, I have already forgiven you daughter, now believe it! Let this be an end to a new beginning to sexual wholeness.

"He said to her, Woman, Where are your accusers? Has no man condemned you?
She answered, No one, Lord! And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more." ~ John 8:10-11

My Heart in His Hands

It is so hard for me to imagine that the One who calls me beautiful wants to hold my heart in His hands. It's hard to imagine that He wants all of me, that I am not my own but His.
To let go of all the other lovers in my life just to be with Him...
To stop searching for that special someone or something to fulfill my little girl desires...
And become one with Christ, my Bridegroom.
"Come closer" He whispers in my ear. I hesitate as I think of all the different ways my body has been touched. I feel so dirty inside and out. I have given myself away to many times to count and now theirs nothing left to give...
Like a filthy rag and a broken vessel so is the way I see my body.
I never knew I carried so much shame from this...Heal my Body scars Father. Help me to trust You and place my heart in Your hands.

Journey to Living Beautifully - Update

Day 2 -
This journey is proving to be a healing experience for me. I fasted again on day 2. I made it all the way to 6:00. God led me to read Daniel chapter 3.
I learned that I should dedicate myself to God everyday. It should be a lifestyle for me.

Day 3 -
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." ~ Jer. 1:5
I am set apart. He wants all of me. My body, my hands, my mouth, my mind, my money, and my time. I am His...

Day 4, 5 and 6 -
We celebrated Easter on Good Friday with some friends and there family. The kids had a fun time hunting for eggs and doing a scavenger hunt. We all(including my husband) went to church on Sunday. Everyone there was dressed so pretty.

J2B - Day 1

Day 1

Today I am dedicating my body to the Lord. I sat down last night to write out a dedication to the Lord but no words came, just the verse in Romans 12:1:

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.

He didn't want me to write a dedication but to dedicate my body to Him through fasting today.

I have never dedicated my body to Christ before. This is something that is not normal to me and just thinking about it makes me want to cry. My body has been so defiled and I am so ashamed. He wants to change all that though with Heaven's rain...

Journey to Beauty

He has made everything beautiful in its time...Ecclesiastes 3:11

Yesterday I decided to take a Journey with the Lord. Forty days to Living Beautiful for my God. My sister is traveling along with me. My theme song for this is Measure of Beauty by Lindsey Kane.

Broken and Beautiful

I was thinking about my past and feeling so broken, so worn, trashed and used - like an empty wall. I was listening to a love song and as it played on this is what He told me...

The foundation has already been laid. I am your Creator and I have built you from My own hand. I love you with an everlasting love. I have built you with hands of mercy, with hands of grace. You were built for Me.
You are not an abandoned house...You are Mine!
You are not an empty house...I have come to fill it with Life and life everlasting!
I have come to decorate My house, My daughter, from the inside out. Others might not be able to see the work that's going on in the inside and that's okay because I know!
I know what I am doing.
Trust Me.
Trust the hands of your Creator who makes all things beautiful in it's time.

Girl Power

Be strong (confident) and of good courage... ~ Joshua 1:6

He makes my feet like the hinds' [firm and able]; He sets me secure and confident upon the heights. ~ 2 Samuel 22:34

And you shall be secure and feel confident because there is hope; yes, you shall search about you, and you shall take your rest in safety. ~ Job 11:18

In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for you, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust ~ Psalm 4:8

March Verse

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord ~ Joshua 24:15

Reach for Him!

I have never seen myself as a perfectionist until yesterday when I was looking out the kitchen window reflecting on the beauty of spring like weather. I have been living life with the mindset of reaching for perfect conditions but never getting there. It's a mindset that effects how I see things, circumstances and situations. Therefore, I stop myself from truly living. Living how I really want, living how God wants and enjoying the life Christ died to give me.
As I was thinking all this, I heard His still small voice say to me, "You think your reaching for perfection but it's not perfection because it's by your standard of perfection, not mine. Reach for me! I'm perfect". It was in that moment that I ran down a list in my head of all the areas I have been reaching for perfection by my own self and not Him...
My marriage
My house
Cooking
The kids
School
Relationships
Myself even. There is just so many things and so many details. His plan is the only perfect plan. I have missed out on so much and He wants to turn my life around with this one mindset, reaching for Him!

Can I Live

5 Steps

The steps I have been blogging are actually what the Lord is speaking to me about in the Discerning the voice of God study I am doing...

1. Have faith that moves mountains and glorifies God.

2. Walk in the freedom of no condemnation.

3. Let peace rule.

4. Believe His Word.

5. Walk His Word out in my life.

Spiritual Warfare Tools

~ Prayer

~ Obedience

~ Love

~ Spending time with God

~ Worship

February Verse

Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. ~ Colossians 3:14

Promise of a Lifetime

By Kutless

I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I'm feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me

(Chorus)
I know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside I'm clinging to
The promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow through the change
I still remember the pledge you made to me

(Chorus)
I know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside I'm clinging to
The promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
I am comforted

(Chorus)
To know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside I'm clinging to
The promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

(Chorus)
I know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside I'm clinging to
The promise of a lifetime
Looking back at me
I know that you can see my heart is holding to
The promise of a lifetime

5 More Steps to Becoming a Healthier Me

The first 5 are here

1. Speak the Word

2. Surrender

3. Seek Him

4. Delight in Him

5. Hope in Him

A Display of His Splendor

"His desire is that you be bold, courageous, confident, respected, admired, promoted, sought after, and, most of all loved." ~ The Confident Woman

When I read this quote I thought to myself, isn't this a bit much, come on now.
But today God reminded me that I am royalty and showed me a verse that I think goes along with it.
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God's] own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light" ~ 1 Peter 2:9
Also, Isaiah 61:3 says, they will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor. The amplified says it like this,...that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty,strong,and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
Note that it says the planting of the Lord. That means this is something He plants(does) in us and not myself.
So it's all done by Him and for Him to display His splendor, the glory of the Lord!

Comparing

God is showing me that if I'm gonna walk in confidence then I gotta stop comparing myself to others. Comparing ourselves is exactly what the enemy wants us to do. Comparing takes our mind off of Him and really onto ourselves and others. We stop believing who He is and who He created us to be. Comparing comes in different forms and that's what makes it hard. It can be decieving and I believe is one of the tools Satan uses to hold us down in a worthless state of being. The only thing we should be comparing ourselves to is the Word of God. He loves us and that's all that matter's.

Great is His Faithfulness, Love, and Mercy

Love, mercy, and faithfulness seem to be the recurring theme for me this morning.
God wants me to know His unfailing love, His unending mercy, and His great faithfulness. Charles Stanely says, "The more time you spend with the Lord, the more you will come to know His boundless love, and the more joyful you will become. The more joyful you are, the more exciting is your walk with Jesus and the more dynamic is your faith. The steadfast love of Christ is our anchor for every storm, and what satisfies the deepest longing of our hearts."
This reminds me of the song we sang in chapel as a little girl.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning
New every morning
Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord
Great is Thy faithfulness

He is showing me that it does not matter to Him how many times I mess up in a day. So I don't have to wake up carrying the guilt of what I did not do right the day before cuz Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning;Great is Your faithfulness. Lam. 3:22-23

This is pure love.
Verse 24 says,"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" I never knew this verse was there. He is the one I need to hope in. He needs to be my portion and only portion. The One I rely on. Not my self, family, friends, kids, husband etc. There is nothing or no one that compares to Him and that can fill my soul.

Satisfy me in the morning Lord, with your unfailing love, that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days.

Falling in Love with Jesus

I just finished reading this book. Abandoning yourself to the greatest romance of your life. This is the authors website. There are two more books in this series that I would also like to read. I first heard of the author from a friend. A few of us are reading her friendship of woman book. Anyways...this was a great book about our love relationship with Christ. Here are some quotes from the book...

"Romance is so much bigger than just a love story. Romance has to do with making things lovely because of love. Romance means Absorbing the beauty of life: conversation, atmosphere, places, and surroundings."

"Dream big. Pray hard. Jesus is our Prince, and this is no fairy tale."

"Wonderful men do exist outside of fairy tales, because of the power of Christ."

"What is the very best love in life? It is a deep love relationship with Jesus."

"When we focus only on salvation, we are like the couple who spends an enormous amount of money and time on the wedding but neglects the marriage."

"Communing with the Lord needs to be as necessary and consistent as breathing. We must practice His presence in everything. What do you put in your heart? What do you think about? What music? What books? What about your friends? Have you sought out people who will really sharpen you? What you allow to seep deep into your soul will affect your love relationship with Jesus and your relationship with those around you."

"...there is never true intimacy without conflict. That's when your true heart comes out."

"God will use you if you make yourself available to Him. In the process of making ourselves available to Him, He will bring forth fruit--and to bring forth more fruit, He will prune us."

"When we choose to take the hand of Jesus even though we may not know where He's leading, He has a certain destination in mind, and it will be a delightful surprise to our souls."

Getting ready for School

I am feeling a lot better today. Yesterday, I woke up with a stomach virus. Thank God it's gone cuz I need to get everything ready for my daughter to start school on Tues. I do not know how this is gonna go. So far I have to go get her a lunch box and school clothes. I wasn't planning on taking the whole 6-pack but Joe has been working non-stop and it looks like me and the kids will be taking a field trip to Target. I still have to make a grocery list. To that I will now add her school lunch list. I am so new at this...I always thought it would be way easier if they were in a public school. But now I see it's costing me more money and more time. And only one of my children is going...

Elevate in 2008

I got this phrase the first week of January. Elevate means to lift up, to raise, to improve. The Lord was showing me that that's what the year will hold for me and my family. So I have been waiting and wondering in anticipation what our new beginnings will look like and be.
Can I just say that God is so good. I mean He gave us His spirit to guide us in this life. Without Him I do not know where I'd be. The voice of the Lord is so awesome. No one can take away His Word, His will...His love.
Anyways...My daughter will start the local public school next week. This is gonna be a huge change on the whole family, emotionally, physically and spiritually. And this is only the beginning. Please pray for us...

Long time No blog

Well, it's been awhile. I don't even know what to write. Mostly cuz I am very tired.
It has been a long week. Joe has been working non-stop it seems since New Year's. I must say I have enjoyed my time this week. With him coming home late at night to catch a few zzzz, I have been spending my evenings cleaning, reading and listening to some teaching online. Tonight I thought I would wait up and be here to serve him a nice hot meal since he hasn't really been eating much lately. The coffee should help with that.
I hope we make it to church on Saturday. I would also like to go to the friendship group. But I think I will shoot for church just to keep the family together. The kids are missing there daddy.
I have an appointment tomorrow morning at the school for Lia. I am nervous... I am going to read a book with my sister and a few of her friends. Should be interesting.
I posted some pics on my homeschool blog here if anyone is interested. That's where I am hoping to blog about the kids, school and such. That way I can have this one be all about me. Haha, that sounds funny.

January Verse

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life...Psalm 23:6