My Shame

Yesterday the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I live in a state of failure.
Today I read that "shame creates a failure mentality"
This morning I prayed for the Lord to open my spiritual eyes and heart to hear His words to me today and this is one of them. (Thank you)
I also had a bad dream last night. It was about my Aunt (the shamer) and my mom (the shamed) Then there was me. I think they were arguing about something. In my dream I felt little, no good, worthless, not good enough and I was crying...
If I admit it, I am hurt because she had the nerve to call my mom on my birthday. I love my Aunt. She was like a second mom to me and took care of me in ways my mom didn't. But I also hate the things she did and said to me. Always telling me I'm going to hell, that I don't love Jesus because the bible says...she got a lot of the church against me. I was known as a bad influence. What's funny is that I think they(Aunt & cousins) think I still am but this time a christian "not following God right"
This could be where my rebel streak comes in. ( yes I still have it)
My motto: If you can't win 'em or LOSE 'em then do whatever you want.
So ya, God is talking to me about shame...