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I am not sure of the next time I will be blogging. My computer is not working.
So, until next time.....

Eternal Love

Last night took me back to what matters most...Love.
How quickly I forget this. The busyness and routine of daily life can so easily side track me and before I know it I am just going through the motions.
Or so I thought!
What if, instead I start believing the little lies of the enemy and the surrounding circumstances and before I know it I am just going through the motions? The motions of unbelief. And when I stop believing, I stop living. But today God is showing me that it's because of His love I can believe.
Because of love I am alive.
It's love that makes me who I am.
And it's love that understands.
Because love knows no bounds.
And it doesn't come and go.
Love is eternal...And it's because of His love for me that I can now live.

Thank you God for your love. Take me deeper in your love for me!

Come Forth

Living in a dark, gray world, trying to find your way around, You can't see cuz it's to dark. So dark...your soul cry's out a shrilling scream that awakens the depths within. You think your going crazy but then you see your reflection staring back at you from the black shadows lingering on the walls.
The walls, brick by brick, prick by prick you put them there, all though in your minds eye it was they who made you what you are today. Just a dirty city girl looking for love in all the wrong places but not so wrong to the world around you.
Step by step, chance by chance you feel yourself slipping away. How long can you keep playing the harlot? One day your sure to get caught because life eventually catches up with you and before you know it time is standing still, the world ain't so big any more and the little girl in you says in a very faint whisper. Can I have another chance?
Alone in the still, quiet dark of the night you wait as if something or someone will come to your rescue knowing full well that your better off dead.
You close your eyes and imagine just for a moment how life could have been, how it should have been and how it wasn't. The strong winds of this world have knocked you down and now your on your last breath and suddenly you see a light amidst your darkness and you wonder why now after all these years...And you hear the words,
"For you are not dead but alive in Christ. Come forth, the time is Now!"

Just Because

I have been doing a lot of thinking with a lot of crying last night and today. I wonder what I am doing with my life...
I have been living life like everything is hard. Everything is a burden. Everything is dull and boring. Frustrating and complicated, difficult. And I don't want to live that way anymore. Why am I so afraid to just be. To live the life God has given me. There's a whole world that He created for my enjoyment. People, God created people and I am not even enjoying them. How am I ever gonna get any farther with my life living it the way I've been living it. Jesus is alive and I been living like He's still dead. Why do I beat myself up when He is saying I am good? I do that with other's too. God gave me breath. He gave me another day to live it to the fullest. But I'm not. Instead I settle for this and that. For whatever comes my way whether I like it or not. I take what life gives me and when I have a choice to make I take the one I think God wants me to make which always somehow ends up being the more spiritual one. Everything is a have to. Why can't it ever be a just because I want to just because!
Just because He loves me.
Just because He created me.
Just because I am.
Just because I can.
Just because I'm me.

Consuming Fire

There must be more than this, oh breath of God come breath within
There must be more than this, Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Consuming Fire, Fan into flame, a passion for your name, Spirit of God
fall in this place, Lord have ur way, Lord have ur way
with us

Come like a rushing wind, Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free, leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall

Artist: Tim Hughes

Getting Ready to Emerge

I think I am at some kinda stand still right now, a crossroads. I see what's behind, I see what's to come, I see what is now and I am not moving because of fear, lack of confidence and insecurities. These mindsets come from a lack of trust in God. They will prevent me from entering into the fullness of Christ, the promises He has for me, the abundant living.
I have been praying for God to show me the way and with that He is reminding me that "I am the way, the truth, and the life" I am gonna have to say goodbye to the old way of doing things. I have already started but I am not giving Him my all. I think the hardest part in all this is letting go of dead relationships and starting new ones.
I don't want to just be going through the motions anymore but I wanna truly and freely live the life that Christ died to give me. To take up my own cross and die to self. But not just to stay at the cross like so many of us are taught to do but to emerge by the power of the cross into a beautiful butterfly.

Living in His Glory

This is a prayer I prayed this morning to my Lord and Savior.
Lord, if your glory is already here and your presence goes before me then I pray, show me your glory. I am ready for you to sweep me off my feet!...

With that the Lord is showing me that living in His glory is not about following a bunch of rules and regulations. But it's about abiding in Him, denying the flesh and trusting in Him only. I believe He is showing me the way I abide in Him is by denying the flesh and I deny the flesh by trusting in Him. My mind is already saying this is gonna be difficult but I hear Him saying "nothing is to difficult for those who trust in, lean on and rely on the Lord. I am with you every step of the way. Follow after me and you will bear much fruit. Stay connected to the vine and your leaf will not wither or fade and the Glory of the Lord will be upon you in all your goings and comings, while awake and while asleep. I am watching over you..."

I can only imagine what it would be like to be rooted and grounded in His love. How glorious that would be and I am asking Him to do this in me. That I would not be swayed by every thought and doctrine that comes my way but that I would remain in His truth and spirit for He alone is all knowing, all loving and all I need.

Prayer

I am sorry God but tonight I am not feeling very sure of myself. I know, how selfish of me after all You have shown me of who You are and who I am in Christ. I just did not expect to feel this way. Well, therein lies my problem. I can't put expectations on how I think people should be. There not perfect, even though they act like it in there own little way. My expectation should be in you and your word. I am not sure I can do what your calling me to do.
This is gonna be hard and...oh please help me through this. I desire to do your will more then anything. I wanna live for you. Not myself or man but you Lord is what I desire. Strengthen me and give me a spirit of wisdom and revelation during these next 3 weeks. I don't belong here Lord at least that's how I feel. And yet they treated your son like this too huh? I don't even want to be here but not my will may yours be done. Help me to see through the eye's of grace. Help me to do your will and not what everyone else thinks I should be doing with my life. Help me to keep being real. To be who you created me to be even when other's are still wearing masks...and humble me Lord to see myself as you see me, no better and no less.
In your name.

The Royal Decree

"And you shall love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul(your life) and out of and with all your mind(with your faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength. This is the first and principal commandment. The second is like it and is this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater then these." ~ Mark 12:30-31

I have had this title for a blog post in the back of my mind for awhile now. I seem to come up with a lot of titles but never the words. I started to write the titles down when I realized who was giving them to me. In His time He shows me what to write and when. So this title came to mind again and I asked God but what is your royal decree? And He gave me the verse above.
The royal decree is love...
I could just ponder on this all day. For what I always thought was a have to has now become the law of grace. We love because He first loved us. Yes, this is the royal decree for His daughters to declare His love to ONE and all.

A New Thing

It is so crazy how much I have grown this past year. So I thought I would recap all that the Lord has done in my life this past season

~ Learned and had revelation of my identity in Christ.

~ Received the baptism of the Holy Spirit

~ Learned I have a purpose and a calling on my life

~ Learned to hear God's voice and follow Him

~ Gave my husband and kids to the Lord

~ Freed from fear

~ Learned the Holy Spirit does not live in a box

~ Learned where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom

~ Learned that following God requires sacrifice

~ Learned that God's word is literally alive and active in me

~ Learned that the presence of the Lord is all around me

~ Learned that the kingdom of God is within me

~ My life now has meaning

~ Learned that the christian life is one, big exciting adventure

~ Learned how real God's everlasting, steadfast love is

~ Learned that there is no accuser of the brethren and I have been set free from outcast thinking

~ My chains have fallen off

~ Learned that I don't have to live a dull life, there is no dull life in Christ

~ Learned that God is always on the move

~ Learned that it's all about Him

~ Learned how to live in the victory that I have in Christ Jesus

~ Learned how to pray

~ Learned that I am anointed

~ Learned to believe in, trust and rely on the Lord

~ Learned that He cares about the everyday routine details in my life

~ Learned that He is so good

~ Learned of His mercy and grace

~ Learned that worship comes from the heart

~ Learned that I am in a blood covenant relationship

~ Learned that He is committed to me

~ Learned that not only does He forgive me of my past sins but my future sins as well

~ Learned I am free, new, made whole and pure in Christ

~ Learned that I am His daughter and He is my Father

~ Learned He is holding me and will not let go

~ Learned He keeps His promises

~ Learned the more I seek Him, the more I find Him

~ Learned that the christian life is hard but it's worth it

~ Learned the refiners fire does not feel good

~ Learned that beauty starts with the heart

~ Learned that being a girl is a beautiful thing

~ Learned that not everything some of the church says is true about who God is

~ Learned in order to love others with a genuine love then I need to first know how much I am loved

~ Learned there is no other love like the love of the Father

Isaiah 43:18,19
Do not remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and no it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Believing God Study

Wow! I am finally done with Believing God. We will finish tonight with watching the session 10 video. This has been a loooong study.(We started last fall, I think)
The concept of believing God is life changing. It changed my mindset and started me on the course of who I am in Christ. I now know that I know that God's word is really and truly the living word. I recommend that every child of God do this study.

New Wine

"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit..." ~ John 15:5

The other night, the Lord showed me a picture of a tree that had purple grapes on it. The grapes signify new--new wine and new oil. Purple is the color of royalty--my identity. This means I will start to bear this fruit in my life as I abide in Him. I love the color purple and can't wait to see the beauty unfold in this new season.

A New Season

And he shall be like a tree firmly planted by the streams of water, ready to bring forth it's fruit in it's season; It's leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper ~ Psalm 1:3

A new season is upon us. Old things have truly passed away. Psalm 1:3 is the verse that God is giving me for this new season. This will be the year of new beginnings. Everything in my life will be new and now I shall watch it spring forth.

Notes - Graham Cooke Conference

Friday night I came home with 8 pages of notes I had written in my lil' notebook. The speaker was Graham Cooke. This is his website.

~ The story of Lazarus(John 11)-Get rid of religious grave clothing and be the people of God.

~ God is changing mindsets and releasing our identity in Christ. We are moving away from dullness and mediocrity.

~ God is happy with me right now.

~ Other's need to know the hope

~ When we get(God shows us) negative information about someone it's for us to know how much grace and hope they need.

~ You can't fail any of the tests God gives you. You just get to take it again and again and again until you pass.

~ God never writes you off. He just gives you another opportunity.

~ God is byast toward us

~ Learn about rest. You gotta push away things that cause unrest. You got better things to do.

~ When God points something out in your life that is not working, He's showing you your next freedom.

~ Accountability is about pointing out people's destiny, not what's wrong.

~ The world and some of the church has made us more negative then were made out to be.

~ We don't see what's wrong about people but the best about people.

~ He makes you fall in love with His own beauty and when you do you find your own.(I love this quote!)

~ We must become a prophetic people. Jer. 29:11

~ Phillipians 3 - Present past people-those that allow there past to come into there future. We need to forget what lies behind and move forward.

~ Present future people-those that move forward and forget what lies behind.

~ Don't sit in baggage claim. God gots your ticket with your name on it!

~ You gotta start thinking of yourself the way God thinks of you. He's your designer.

~ A warrior is an encourager.

~ Mark 4:35-Get out of the boat and go to the other side, where Jesus is going.

~ Don't make anxiety a virtue.

~ Anxiety and trust can't exist in the same space in the same time. One of them gots to go and you get to choose!(Good one)

~ You can't grow in faith unless you have a problem. You need problems so you can increase your faith.

~ There is a way of looking at life through the eyes of God that makes us succeed.

~ Every problem comes with a provision attached to it. You learn to stand in the problem on the promise looking for the provision!

~ Be overwhelmed in the goodness of God

~ New mindsets-there is no gift of suspicion.

~ God is positive about you

~ Align my thinking to the Lord's.

~ God will turn every curse into a blessing.

~ God is getting a hold of us in new ways. We gotta get a hold of Him in new ways.

~ We have been so conditioned by the negative

~ If I don't understand I just need to say I trust You.

~ Whatever you lack God intends to provide as part of your journey.

~ Learn to live a lifestyle of celebration

~ Rejoice always, pray and give thanks. This is God's will

~ We enter His presence with thanksgiving

~ Don't pray out of guilt or anxiety. It's through thanksgiving.

~ Your heart must be in a certain posture. We give thanks until we become thanks.

~ It's in your DNA to magnify. You will magnify the problem or the Lord. But you will magnify.

~ A life of celebration magnifies the Lord

~ Joy is the permanent environment of heaven.

~ Somewhere along the way we've lost living in the good news. Maybe we live in the mediocre news.

~ Rejoicing puts you in the throne room. Joy is who He is.

~ Jesus came to put a face on God. We are here to put a face on Christ.

~ The lack of thanks has a damaging effect on our lifestyle

~ There is nothing you can do to make God love you more or less.

~ When your having a bad day with God He's never having a bad day with you!

~ Get out of this religious mind set and find out what God is like.

~ There is only one way to live this life with God and that is joyful

~ It's time for us to be restored to the joy of our salvation

Sweet Worship

Worship was so awesome last night! We sang "Majesty" and "Everything". I couldn't beleive it. Those are the two songs on the worship cd Joe just got that I have been listening to over and over again the last couple days. God totally prepared me for this night. He is so amazing! He is so faithful to His children. My new favorite song is "I am free" by Newsboys. I gotta get that cd now. That's the first song we sang. People were jumping up and down singing I am free...It was so cool.

Lift Up Your Heads

Psalm 3:3 says, "But you, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head" In Genesis 13:14 God tells Abraham to lift up his eyes and look all around him for He was giving him all the land that He could see for His inheritance.

The Lord is showing me this morning that as sons and daughters of the King, we are not to walk around in life with our heads bowed low. For when we do we will miss our inheritance that the King has and wants to give us. A daughter of the King walks this life with her head lifted up and see's the glory of the Lord all around her. As she worships at His feet and fixes her eye's on the Holy one she positions herself to receive her inheritance of the Lord.

"Lift up your heads, O you gates; and be lifted up, you age abiding doors, that the King of Glory may come in" ~ Psalm 24:7

His Love and Power

Last night my husband helped paint a house and then had margaritas with a couple guy's from the church. The couple gave Joe a Calvary worship cd. I was so touched by this. God knows how much I am loving to worship Him. The cd has some good songs on it including my favorites "If You Say Go" "Majesty" and "Everything" with Reynolds leading the worship. I miss this worship...
This is when I realized how far I have come. There's no more striving to stay at church. I know that I know I am home. So many times I wanted to give up and give in to other church's ways. It has been really hard for me to stay but I never heard Him say go and that's what kept me in the end.
It was around December of last year when God revealed to me that He wanted my children to grow up under calvary's bible teaching. And that my husband still needed to be there. I had all these buts. But this, but that and then--but what about me? That's when He provided Royal Identity for me.
I am coming up to the one year mark of heart transformation. I am overwhelmed at the power and the love of God. Forever I am changed by it. Forever I am His. For I have been set FREE!!

The Promise of Rest

I just got finished reading Hebrews 4. Something that I never saw before is that this chapter has a theme of rest. I never new that we actually had the promise of rest.(Heb.4:1) Therefore, the Lord is showing me that in the promised land you find rest. This is a place of belief. It's where my mind and emotions aren't just wandering in the wilderness and going in circles. There's no rest in that. Only discontentment, distrust and disobedience. Just like the Isrealites wandered for 40 years due to there unbelief, I ask myself, am I too wandering long because of my unbelief?
It's such a simple concept and yet it takes diligence and perseverance to enter His promise of rest.(Heb.4:11)
I also have the promise of His word being alive and active in me.(Heb.4:12) And the promise to recieve mercy and find grace when I come boldly before His throne.(Heb.4:16) It's intresting that in these two verses one can find rest but first one must believe. May I continue to trust in and believe God not only for the little things but also the big. God is so big, so strong and so mighty...there's nothing to hard for Him.

My Husband

My husband has been working at the new church building for the past month or so. Saturday He came home with two hundred dollars that God gave Him. I couldn't believe it. God just replaced the two hundred we lost for this month and is ministering to him through a couple of guys. I can't wait to see how else God is gonna work in his life through the church's relocation.

Fall - In Him

Gosh, I can't believe we are already in September. I am looking forward to falling more in love with Jesus. Being the apple of His eye and Him harvesting an abundance of fruit in my life, and my family's life's as well as the church I attend. I want to walk in the gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit's presence. It's Him who makes my steps fall into place as He leads the way.

Prayer: God, how awesome you are to me! I wanna fall face down as your glory shines around. All that I have is Yours and I thank you for giving me life. Help me to live it freely in Christ's love for me. Open up my heart and my life. Increase my capacity to hold even more love, more power, more of You in my life and less of me.
In Jesus' precious Holy name.

September Verse

My soul waits in silence for God ~ Psalm 62:1