Hiding

Well, it's official. I am currently in hiding. Hiding from wut? The things that are hidden in my heart. Things that the Lord wants to bring out of the darkness and into the light. Things that He wants to speak truth over. It's amazing how much baggage one comes to carry over the years. Coming out of denial is a long process for me. How I wish this season would end and yet old seeds must die off for the "new" to come in and lead me to my ultimate destiny in Him.

The other day as I was soaking in the Lord I got a picture of me sitting in church. I was about 14, 15 maybe. And I just wanted someone to love me. But there all doing there own thing. No one cared how I was feeling just that I was following there rules and if it looked good. These were the rules : Go to church everytime church was going on, Read my bible, no sex before marriage, no T.V, no non-christian friends, blah, blah, blah...hmmm I see that I was that girl from that Casting Crowns song. All that judgment, all that shame and blame is wut the Lord wants to loose from me.

Anyways, after I got that picture,the Lord said to me"I see you. I see you hiding. Come to me and let go. I want you to come out of hiding. I see your beauty within and I want to bring it out. I want you to walk in My grace and favor"
Okay I think I get it now. As I write I see that I was always hiding. I still do. I hide from God, my husband and even my children. That's why the Lord said He see's me hiding. Wow! Theres just so much going thru my mind right now.