I See You

Speechless, I am taken back to the night I gave myself away to the Lord...I remember sitting there among many women and yet feeling so alone and not noticed. "He notices you" was a word spoken over me a few weeks later. I did not understand then what He is revealing to me now. Thoughts and feelings that I never knew existed. Thoughts and feelings that I can't deny now cuz He's got a hold of my heart and He won't let go. He won't let go...He loves us that much.
Growing up I felt like God wasn't for me. I didn't feel like He was against me either. He was just disappointed with me. As my world got darker and darker His light became dimer and dimer. And yet I knew He was always there. Watching and waiting for me to come to Him and let Him love me with an everlasting, unconditional, true love that only He can give.
But God wasn't for me. He was for everyone else in the church but not me. I had defiled my body and my mind. I felt so dirty. Clothed in filthy rags and thrown away like trash left for dead in a dark alley somewhere where no one cares. They don't even notice you.
"But I notice" He says. "I see you trembling in the night. Where it's so cold your heart is of stone, your body like ice so you can't feel a thing. I see you crying and yet you can't feel the pain as your tears drift from a rocky river where the current is so fast you don't even know what hits you. I see you hurting even though you try to deny it. I see that you have sealed those scars so tight that you don't even know they are there. Scars left unopened but remain the same until I come and pour my healing balm on them. Will you let me? Will you let me seal the scars with my kiss?"
Me? Me. He wants me are the words that played in my mind the night I gave myself to Him. Those are the words I say today as well.
"I see something else" He says to me "I see your Beauty"

O my love, how beautiful you are!
There is no flaw in you!
Song of Solomon 5:7

I will not leave you as orphans
[comfortless,desolate,bereaved,forlorn,helpless]
I will come [back] to you.
John 14:18

That He might present the church
to Himself in glorious splendor, with out spot
or wrinkle or any such things
[that she might be holy and faultless].
Ephesians 5:27