Dear Secret Keeper

You are taking me back to my childhood to find the little girl you created. I found her but she's lost. She's looking for her mother but she can't find her. Is it possible that even now I am still lost? Is it possible that I am still looking for my mother? I have no one Secret Keeper, they all left me. And now it's not only me they've left but also my children. But they were never really there in the first place were they? Was it all a delusion? Cuz I feel like I lived two lives.
Member when they would tell me how I have no heart....hahaha I laugh at that now. Cuz what they were really telling me was I don't care about them. Sometimes I hear whispers that I don't care about them and I start to feel guilty thinking maybe I don't and I should just be nicer. But being nicer never brought mom back. It's all a lie. In some twisted sick way I was expected to care and love my family without them loving me in return. That's how it's always been and that's how it still is. And that's why I left. But am I still running like when I was younger? Never belonging to no one or anything. Is this why I can't get comfortable every where I go? Help me Secret keeper. Please bring me home again...I keep going back only to leave again and again. I want to run into Your arms and stay this time.