He Loves Us

God's Love

1 Corinthians 13, known as the love chapter is what love is and is not. I have always asked God to help me be loving. Even replacing love with my name like we've all read. But I have never read the love verses as God's love to me. I know that God is love, but do I really know that love for myself cuz if I don't then wouldn't I be like a noisy gong or clanging cymbal? Oh God, may I know how much you love me!

Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices with the truth
It always protects
always trusts
always hopes
always perseveres
Love never fails.

In Christ Alone - Travis Cottrell

Heart Surgery

This has been a year of having spiritual heart surgery. Where He is taking out my old heart, the heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh.(Ezekiel 36:26) It's old things passing away. He is giving me life. And life more abundant. After all that's what Jesus died to give us. But to many christians are walking around like He is still dead. I know cuz I was one of them. But now I know that I know He is alive and active in me, living in and through us. Last night He showed me that I am to Be Still while He has His perfect way in me. As He continues to pump His blood through my empty veins giving me life I am to Be Still and Know Him.

Sing to the King

This is the song from the passion cd that God gave me to sing after releasing tears of abandonment.


Sing to the King Who is coming to reign
Glory to Jesus, the Lamb that was slain
Life and salvation His empire shall bring
And joy to the nations when Jesus is King

Come, let us sing a song
A song declaring that we belong to Jesus
He is all we need
Lift up a heart of praise
Sing now with voices raised to Jesus
Sing to the King

For His returning we watch and we pray
We will be ready the dawn of that day
We'll join in singing with all the redeemed
'Cause Satan is vanquished and my Jesus is King

My Lil' Pumpkins

Insecure & Secure

I looked up the meaning of insecure and secure. I thought it interesting. I have a long way to go, but hey, at least I'm on my way.


Main Entry: in·se·cure
Function: adjective
Pronunciation: "in-si-'kyur
Etymology: Medieval Latin insecurus, from Latin in- + securus secure
1 : not confident or sure : UNCERTAIN
2 : not adequately guarded or sustained : UNSAFE
3 : not firmly fastened or fixed : SHAKY
4 a : not highly stable or well-adjusted b : deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety

Main Entry: 1se·cure
Function: adjective
Pronunciation: si-'kyur
Inflected Form(s): se·cur·er ; -est
Etymology: Latin securus safe, secure, from se without + cura care -- more at SUICIDE
1 a archaic : unwisely free from fear or distrust : OVERCONFIDENT b : easy in mind : CONFIDENT c : assured in opinion or expectation : having no doubt
2 a : free from danger b : free from risk of loss c : affording safety d : TRUSTWORTHY , DEPENDABLE
3 : ASSURED 1

Books, Books & More Books

Uh, I am having a hard time sticking with one book lately. I am trying to read Captivating and Your All That! along with 3 other books. Then God is talking to me about insecurity lately and with that I need to read the insecurity section of the book that Joyce Meyer wrote in Straight talk. Then I just saw a new book called Face to Face with God that I really wanna pick up. It's about being in His presence. I can't keep up!

The Warrior is a Child

By Twila Paris

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
the warrior is a child

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The Warrior is a Child

Releasing Tears

I have been crying all day. The pain that is coming up I never knew was there. It hurts so bad. And I can't stop crying. I think I am crying cuz I was left alone and I never had a mom(emotionally) and dad. I never knew that hurt me though. I wonder if I ever cried when I was little over this but I don't think so cuz I have kept this gotta keep going attitude in me and not let myself feel the pain and could not admit that it hurt. I can't believe I have been living like this all my life. This has followed me this whole time.
Everything has been a lie. The adults in the family have created some kinda illusion that it doesn't hurt and its not that way at all. But it's real and it's been eating me alive. All that time they tried to blame us. No one has ever taken responsibility for there own selves. It's always been our fault. And I been carrying this responsibility, there resposibility this whole time. I can't do it any more. I can't...

Dear Secret Keeper

You are taking me back to my childhood to find the little girl you created. I found her but she's lost. She's looking for her mother but she can't find her. Is it possible that even now I am still lost? Is it possible that I am still looking for my mother? I have no one Secret Keeper, they all left me. And now it's not only me they've left but also my children. But they were never really there in the first place were they? Was it all a delusion? Cuz I feel like I lived two lives.
Member when they would tell me how I have no heart....hahaha I laugh at that now. Cuz what they were really telling me was I don't care about them. Sometimes I hear whispers that I don't care about them and I start to feel guilty thinking maybe I don't and I should just be nicer. But being nicer never brought mom back. It's all a lie. In some twisted sick way I was expected to care and love my family without them loving me in return. That's how it's always been and that's how it still is. And that's why I left. But am I still running like when I was younger? Never belonging to no one or anything. Is this why I can't get comfortable every where I go? Help me Secret keeper. Please bring me home again...I keep going back only to leave again and again. I want to run into Your arms and stay this time.

Only You

I woke up this morning with this song on my mind. When I looked up the lyrics I knew God had given it to me. This has been my heart's cry the past few weeks that I have been sick. To come to a place where I see only Him and no other. Where His love is the only one that matter's and He is my only desire.


by the Platters

Only you can make this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone
Can thrill me like you do
And fill my heart with love for only you

Only you can make this change in me
For it's true, you are my destiny
When you hold my hand
I understand the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you

Only you can make this change in me
For it's true, you are my destiny
When you hold my hand
I understand the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you

Update

I have been sick all day. Tonight is the first time my head and face are not throbbing. I am hoping to be better for tomorrow night cuz either way I am still going to R.I. I don't want to miss the warrior class I am taking. I have been having trouble thinking straight due to this sickness and so haven't really wanted to blog. Kids had frozen burritos for dinner tonight and I think I will throw something in the crock pot for tomorrow's dinner. I just hope it comes out okay, I cannot taste a thing due to this cold or whatever it is.
On a more positive note I started preschool with the lil' ones today cuz after all "little guys rule" My new saying from the movie Surf's Up.

After Your Heart Lyrics

By Phil Wickham

Can I have your attention
What are we starting here
Just look around you cuz the answer is clear
Listen, Listen
and hear the coming sound
All of the children are singing it loud

Let's be the revolution
That lives for holdin nothing back, nothing back

Chorus
We're after Your heart, after Your heart
All of the walls now are breaking apart
Live like we see it love like we mean it
This is the start we're after Your heart

Start the ascension
Begin the holy climb
Up to where heaven and the earth collide
Bring your affection
All that you have inside
Enter the kingdom and become alive

Love with no condition
It lives for holding nothing back, nothing back

Chorus

Oh lets go higher and higher
Hear the song of the free
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Lift your soul join with the choir
Sing the song, let it ring
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

We're after Your heart never going to stop until we reach You

Warrior

Definitions:
A person engaged or experienced in warfare, a soldier
A person who shows great vigor, courage, energy, passion and aggresiveness
A person engaged or experienced in battle, compative
A skilled soldier, fighter
A person who wages war for the cause of the good

Strong's Hebrew Lexicon:
Intensive, powerful
Champion
Excel
Mighty
Valiant
Soldier
Potent
Concretely
Prince(Princess)
Governor
Ruler

Princess

Definitions:
A daughter of the Sovereign, of the King!
A woman member of a royal family, especially a daughter!
A woman who is a ruler of a principality!
A woman who is a hereditary ruler!
A noblewoman of status or rank!
A woman of the same rank as a prince in her own right!
The wife(BRIDE) of a Prince!

Strong's Hebrew Lxicon:
Feminine, a mistress, ie.female noble: a lady, a princess, a queen

Princess Warrior

I have been learning more about my name and have found that the name Athena means more then what I thought it meant. Athena means Goddess of wisdom and of war. I just think that's so cool! But more importantly it's time for me to take on the prophetic meaning of my name, the one God called me when He formed me in my mother's womb.

Athena of wisdom and war.
...for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her ~ Proverbs 8:11
Praise be to the LORD my ROCK, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle ~ Psalm 144:1

Athena is my spiritual name for this next season. Late last night He gave me another name. I said you can't have two spiritual names. He said Cinderella. And then I understood because earlier during worship the spirit spoke to my heart saying you are a princess everyday even when you don't feel like it. You are a princess through everything no matter what. Your My princess and now I'm gonna bring the princess I created in you out.
Princess Warrior is who He made me to be.
Princess Warrior is who I am in Him.
Princess Warrior is who I am becoming.
Princess Warrior is me.

So this is Love

Before the computer crashed, God gave me a song from the movie Cinderella. The song is called So This Is Love. When I looked up the lyrics my heart just melted cuz I totally knew it was from Him. This is the words to the song.


So this is love, Mmmmmm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, Mmmmmm
And I can fly
I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
Mmmmmm
Mmmmmm
So this is love

Blogging Again

Well, we had our computer repaired so I get to blog again. I am sick right now with some kinda cold and my head hurts. I will still go to R.I. tonight though cuz I am taking a class that only lasts for 5 weeks.
This weekend is the grand opening at the church. I hope and pray I am feeling better for it cuz either way we are going. My husband will be doing touch up at the church all week so we won't be seeing much of Him. It's all worth it though cuz God is really wooing Him right now and He is using the relocation of the church in a huge way to minister to him.
I need to go lay down for a bit cuz I'm really not feeling well. I have lots to blog but it's gonna have to wait.

October Verse

As you therefore have recieved Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. ~ Colossians 2:6,7