Getting Ready!

Today I can see how far I have come from who I once was to who I am now. Who would have thought how great the power and love of God is. When He gets a hold of your heart and you make that choice to surrender everything changes. It is so amazing. He is so amazing!
The other day the Lord showed me to go no mail on a couple egroups I am on. He said He needs my full attention these next few weeks. There's a lot of little changes that are gonna happen in my life starting in September but changes that I believe are gonna bring more transformation.

1. Just walk across the room will start soon. This is a huge step for me. I wasn't even used to lifegroup yet and now I will go to a small group that I know nothing about for four weeks.

2. I will be attending a 2 day conference at another church. This is another huge step for me.

3. R.I will relaunch.

4. I will finish believing God and wait to see where God leads me.

5. We will be moving for a couple weeks into a hotel while the builders redo some sheetrock. I am not exactly sure when this will happen but I know it will be soon.

6. I feel like while we are gone the Lord might have me go see my family in S.A. This is gonna be a huge step for me. But I could already see Him preparing my heart for this. This would only be a quick visit of hopefully reconciliation.

There is also a couple more things that will happen. These are all things that will bring change. There also things that can't happen unless I walk through these doors of opportunity. Where He goes I wanna go. I desire to follow Him even if I am afraid. Like Moses and Joshua He will also be with me as I take these next steps to cross over into the new that He has for me.

I am Angry

Get rid of all bitterness,rage, and anger,brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:31-32


So, I have been asking God to show me His mercy and grace so that I would have compassion on others no matter what they say or do to hurt me. With this He is showing me that I have anger and rage from past hurts which is effecting my present. If someone says or does something to me now that was said or done to me growing up then I immediately get offended or irritated.
And this is what He wants me to give to Him. All the control and accusations done to me as a child, a teen, and young adult. There's just so much there that I have been carrying with me but it can't go where the Lord is wanting to take me...Deeper in His love.

Quote

By grace, Jesus Christ has invited us into His royal court. He has offered to dress us in the finest garments. He has called us to share His glory. He has summoned us to be women of excellence. He has chosen us to be sanctified and glorified princesses--daughters of the King. ~ Priscilla Shirer

Identity Theft

My sister came to my mind this morning. She is still locked up with her next court date in October. The attorney says she should get out right before Christmas. Her daughter started Kindergarten this week. So much time is passing by...
I cry for her. The pain and the hopelessness she feels. The guilt and the shame of never being good enough. I guess I'm seeing that you really do act out what you feel and what you believe about yourself. Her not good enough feelings have taken her to a place that society totally says is not good enough. Thousands upon thousands of people are living life like this. Imprisoned by there own insecurities and being held captive to words of death and wrong actions that the enemy has used to destroy them. He seeks to steal, kill and destroy our identity and hold us in bondage to what we were, where we've been, or what we've become and not what we could be.
I like what Elastigirl said in the movie The Incredible's,"Your identity is your most valuable possession, protect it and if anything goes wrong use your powers"
I think there's some truth to this. The truth is my identity in Christ is my most valuable possession. It takes me to who I once was to who I can become. I also have to protect it. There is a spiritual battle going on and I am constantly having to fight by the renewing of my mind through His word. I also have powers. I have the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of me. Clothed in the armor of God I release seeds of love, joy and peace.
I am not exactly there yet. But I am headed that way. Because I am taking back what the enemy has stolen. What about you?

He Believe's in Me

Wow! God is so good to me. He continually woos me with His awesomeness. I started working in Believing God today. This means I won't be finished with it by tomorrow night when the group meets again. But amazingly I read a quote in day 1 and day 2 today that goes along with what I wrote yesterday. Beth writes: "Even when I've missed the mark of sound application, I've sensed Him saying Your on the right track, child. Stay after it! Keep practicing belief, and you'll learn more and more about My desires as you go"
And in day 1 she says,"I ache for the body of Christ in our generation to learn how to tarry before God and expectantly wait for Him to speak. I'm desperate to learn it for myself. If we did, what revelation we would receive! We cannot have a drive-thru relationship with God and expect to behold His glory. Joshua didn't get a to-go order of God. He dined with Him for days."

Prayer:Your words are so sweet to me Father. And I rest in your faithfulness. Your love and Your beauty surrounds me even when I don't feel so lovely. Shower me in Your mercy and your grace. You are lovely. In your precious name.

Waiting In Him

I just finished listening to Sundays message. I am so glad I did too. There's so much the Lord has been speaking to me these last couple days.
Sundays message went right along with it. I have had some fear and doubt come up in me this past week but today is a new day and without a doubt I know I am on the right track. Waiting is part of the journey and I definitely want to wait upon the Lord until He says go. He recently showed me that I have a problem with wanting to get ahead of God. I am so eager to see what's behind door number 2 and 3 but He is wanting me to wait right in His loving arms and savor the moments with Him.
If I have learned anything these past several months it's that I don't have to do anything except believe and that's a battle in the mind. As I seek Him and His righteousness everything else just falls into place cuz He orchestrates it all. As I give Him all of me I get more of Him. And it's Him that enables me to fulfill my purpose on this earth. It's Him that enables me to love. It's Him that enables me to walk in my destiny. Dipped in His blood and soaking in His living waters, it's Him that I want to be manifested in my life and that, I believe, takes waiting upon the Lord.

Prayer: God help me to wait upon you for everything. I want you to establish my steps. Thank you for giving me the strength to wait and obey you. Your timing is just right. I love you!

Blessed Sunday

The Lord gave me three gifts yesterday.

First, I met a lady at church. I knew her from a local online group but got to meet her in person. God totally hooked us up.
Second, a friend found Rita Springer in the churches bookstore. I was so excited and got to purchase a cd. Her music is awesome!
Third, I found Just walk across the room at Half Price. What are the odds of that but that He put it there for me.

Thank You Daddy God!

Poem

Chapter One

I walk down the street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost and I am helpless
It's not my fault
It takes a long time to get out

Chapter Two

I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it
I fall in
I can't believe I am in the same place but
It's not my fault
It takes a long time to get out

Chapter Three

I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it there
I fall in
It's a habit, my eyes are open
I know where I am
It's my fault
I get out immediately

Chapter Four

I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

Chapter Five

I walk down another street.

Author Portia Nelson

Consuming Fire

I am not doing good right now. I am in the fight of my life. It's not just the money it's every part of my life. My heart is ablaze in the refiners fire and I want so badly to stop, drop, and roll. The flames are becoming to high and yet I know these ones will take me higher in Him and I shall come out as gold and on fire for Jesus.
I have been listening to Facedown all morning now and my word for the day is Psalm 3:3-4 "But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. With my voice I cry to the Lord, and He hears and answers me out of His holy hill. Selah [pause and calmly think of that]!"
This is so painful but I know He loves me and I have to believe in the King of Glory. He has prepared me for such a time as this and I am His warrior princess. I will endure to the very end counting it all joy while developing perseverance. Because perseverance must finish it's work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Even in trials and tribulations God is so good to me!
He gets sweeter and sweeter as the days go by...and I keep falling in love with Him...

My Carrier

Someone actually gave me the vision of me carrying the bags. She said that she saw me holding a lot of bags, like groceries and there's a door in front of me that I am trying to open while holding on to the bags. The door won't open, the bags are getting heavy and I am getting tired. Jesus is standing in between me and the door.
Saying give me the bags. The door won't open cuz I got to give Him the load and go through Him first.
So I was in an attitude of worship a while ago and I saw myself holding the bags. I saw that one bag was broke and the stuff spilled all over the floor.(finances) I was holding my head down cuz I was ashamed to give them to Him.
I prayed that He would just take the bags from me, that He can have them. And He said "Not only will I carry your bags but I will carry you too" I saw Him holding me saying "Come away with Me My love".

Frustration

I have been very frustrated with my kids lately. I haven't been able to handle them the last few weeks and it's been very difficult for me. I think the enemy knows where I lack and that I don't feel so much as a warrior when it comes to being a wife and a mom. Earlier I was on my way to having a pity party. Feelings of worthlessness and despair came over me. I cried out to God. What's wrong with me? "This is one of your loads" He said. What do you want me to do? "Praise Me" So I did and this is what happened...
The Lord took me to the Lord's prayer. I looked it up in my daughters bible since I didn't want to go down stairs to get mine. Well, I don't know the passage by heart so after I found it I ran down stairs to look it up in the amplified thinking it was Matthew 11. It wasn't. But God is so good cuz that's exactly where He wanted me to go. A verse catches my eye and I turn the page to see if Joyce Meyer talks more about it and I see a short article she wrote entitled Lighten Your Load. I find the verse the article talks about and I begin to read from Matthew 11:28-30"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest.[I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle(meek) and humble(lowly) in heart, and you will find rest(relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet)for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome(useful,good-not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne."
I reread it and after about the third time I saw that I am not to be harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing but I am to be comfortable, gracious, and pleasant toward my kids just as He is with me. It also says My burden is light and easy to be borne. I looked up borne in the dictionary and that led me to bear. I saw that Jesus died to bear my frustrations with everyday life. His compassion overwhelmed me and I saw how much He loved and cared that I was frustrated and wanted to take it from me.

Grocery Bags Are Full

Yesterday the Lord showed me that I am carrying heavy loads. Like when we carry groceries from the car to the house I have my hands full. And Jesus is asking me to give Him the bags. He wants to carry them for me. I wasn't exactly aware of this until yesterday, all I know is I have been very frustrated lately.
So I ask Him what's in the bags? And He tells me "responsibility's" He showed me the bags are full with the responsibility's of cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, finances, being a mom and a wife. I told Him I don't know how to give those to You. You will have to show me how. He said "I want to take your responsibility's and wash them clean" I did not understand then what He is showing me now and I will blog it in another post.
Late at night, when the family is sound asleep and I am coming home from the store I carry as many bags as I can to avoid making a lot of trips. Now I forever have the grocery picture etched on my mind as a reminder to let Him carry my bags for me.

CrAzY For Christ

This post is inspired by my crazy friend Ange.

I have a cofession to make. I am crazy. Yep. You heard that right. I have some pretty crazy friends as well. And everyday that passes by I find myself becoming crazier and crazier.
Upon looking up the word crazy in the dictionary, I found that it means infected with madness..possessed by enthusiasm or excitment...intensley involved or preoccupied.
It's kinda funny but this describes me exactly. I am not talking about the kind of crazy that lands you in the mental hospital (all though I have those days to)
I am talking about being crazy for God for He is madly in love with us. And if being totally involved and preoccupied with Him and His word and living it out day by day no matter what that may look like to others makes me crazy. Then your right. I am crazy. And together we crazys make a crazy quilt wich is a patchwork quilt of pieces of cloth of various shapes, colors and sizes. Call me crazy but call me Crazy for Christ.

Guest Blogger: Angelina

Lately I have been struggling with the fact that God is not human. Like when we walk with God and often we can hear Him calling us closer to Himself. And instead of walking nearer to Him we demand that He come closer to us. It’s true that Jesus always meets us where we are, but where we get caught in that fact is when we try to stay there. And once Jesus meets us there, He never intends to keep us there. So what does that struggle look like on a personal level? This is mine:

I ask God to meet me and then when He draws so near I have the most difficult time allowing His unfailing love to embrace the ugliness of my flaws and the desperateness of my sin. At times I think I’ve gone too far, stayed away too long or fell too many times to have Him love me just the way He did when I thought I was beautiful and His love was okay. Sometimes the world whispers, “Don’t believe that kind of unconditional love”, and I listen. I struggle with the fact that God is not human because I try so hard to humanize Him. I resolve that God must think and process the same way I do because I become discouraged and then decide that God is not able. It’s when He reminds me that I am the one who is not able and I am the one who has carried a disbelief that He has never meant for me to carry that I step back from my world. I take in a deep breathe of God’s love and open my eyes to who He really is again. I have a habit of trying to bring Him down to my level. Old habits die hard and He wants to kill this one for sure. I am sharing this because I don’t think that I am the only human who does this. And if I’m not I wanted you to remember, just like I need to, that our Daddy loves us at all times, and He loves us too much to keep us where we are and there is not one time over another where we are more or less beautiful. We are beautiful always.

Copyrighted © 2007 by Angelina Gutierrez

Oasis

Well, a lot has been happening with me these past few weeks. I don't even know where to begin. I have been seeking Him and asking for more of Him and less of me. What He has given me is a ton of revelation. So much so that it has been hard for me to put into words. I believe as I write that the Lord is getting ready to move me into the new. He has been tending to my garden, working on my heart. Pulling up dead weeds that have been very painful. But Oh how His hands have been so gentle, so loving and so very faithful during this process of reconciliation. His living water soothing to my weary soul has been a refreshing drink to the dry cracks in my heart. Just a little more sifting and then the new will spring forth in living color and I shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that brings forth it's fruit in it's season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.(Ps.1:3)
Wow! This is the spiritual oasis the Lord has been talking to me about lately and I praise His holy name!

Mud Pit

I wonder if that book by Lisa Beavere entitled Fight like a Girl would tell me more about being a warrior princess. The last couple weeks have found me slowly sinking in the mud. Covered in dirt and not able to see my way out have brought feelings of defeat and despair. Lies of the enemy whisper in my ear. Different words but all mean the same thing. Never, can't, won't, give up...The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.(Mark 14:38) Alas, I cry out to God and He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;He set my feet on a rock and gave me a place to stand.Psalm 40:2

August Verse

Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it...So don't be afraid;you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows. ~ Matthew 10:29,31