"I am making all things new" is what the Lord showed me in the beginning of the year.
But, sometimes it could be really difficult to give up the old in order to make room for the new. With each step I take it seems to get harder and harder and I find myself having to push more, stand still more, press into Him more, and rely more on Him. To switch from a me focus, a them focus, a what about her and him focus to a focus only on Him. He really and truly is all I need. My Father is asking for more but I don't want to fully give and for the first time I am asking Him, will you love me that much if I give you all I have? And He says to me "all you have I have given you, it's you I am asking for". What about when the rain falls and I slip and slide in the mud will you love me then? "I will do more then you can fathom. I will wash you clean in the river of life and put a crown on your head. The question isn't will I love you child, but the question is will YOU love me??
Jul 27, 2007
Jul 17, 2007
Will The Real Me Please Stand Up?
I have called you by name, you are mine says the Lord.
I have never liked my name. In school I was always embarrassed to have to say it in front of the class. My name was different, weird, unheard of. My step dad would call me Athen, my mom thena, and my aunt came up with thenie weenie. My wannabe gangsta name was LaTina and my husband calls me tina. But now that it's all said and done I like my name. My name is Athena Marie and I never saw the beauty in it till now.
Athena means goddess of wisdom. And the meaning of Marie "is not known for certain, but there are several theories including "sea of bitterness", "rebelliousness", and "wished for child". However it was most likely originally an Egyptian name, perhaps derived in part from my "beloved" or my "love"."
Maybe my first name should have been Marie. Bitter-sweet is how my life has played out exactly. The bitterness of childhood disappointments found me rebellious in my teens and my mom wished for her child to come home. I never really did go back home for there was no 'home' to go home to. And after many more disappointments, somewhere along the way I found my true love. It is he who calls me by my real name. I am His beloved. "He has taken me to the banquet hall and His banner over me is love"~Sgs.2:4 This is home sweet home, my dwelling place.
One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple.~ Psalm 27:4
I have never liked my name. In school I was always embarrassed to have to say it in front of the class. My name was different, weird, unheard of. My step dad would call me Athen, my mom thena, and my aunt came up with thenie weenie. My wannabe gangsta name was LaTina and my husband calls me tina. But now that it's all said and done I like my name. My name is Athena Marie and I never saw the beauty in it till now.
Athena means goddess of wisdom. And the meaning of Marie "is not known for certain, but there are several theories including "sea of bitterness", "rebelliousness", and "wished for child". However it was most likely originally an Egyptian name, perhaps derived in part from my "beloved" or my "love"."
Maybe my first name should have been Marie. Bitter-sweet is how my life has played out exactly. The bitterness of childhood disappointments found me rebellious in my teens and my mom wished for her child to come home. I never really did go back home for there was no 'home' to go home to. And after many more disappointments, somewhere along the way I found my true love. It is he who calls me by my real name. I am His beloved. "He has taken me to the banquet hall and His banner over me is love"~Sgs.2:4 This is home sweet home, my dwelling place.
One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple.~ Psalm 27:4
Jul 15, 2007
Royal Identity
I caught the Esther anointing!
Esther's story is no fairy tale and it's not just some childhood bible story. It's real life. Royal identity is not just a name for a women's ministry but it's a title. A title to be worn with my head held high in honor of the King and dignity in my steps. Royal Identity is you, it's me and it's every son or daughter of the King. Because Royal Identity is who we are in Christ. This changes everything. No longer am I on the outside looking in but I am now on the inside looking out. I see a whole world out there and it's mine for the taking. I got things to do, places to go and people to see.
Esther's story is no fairy tale and it's not just some childhood bible story. It's real life. Royal identity is not just a name for a women's ministry but it's a title. A title to be worn with my head held high in honor of the King and dignity in my steps. Royal Identity is you, it's me and it's every son or daughter of the King. Because Royal Identity is who we are in Christ. This changes everything. No longer am I on the outside looking in but I am now on the inside looking out. I see a whole world out there and it's mine for the taking. I got things to do, places to go and people to see.
Jul 14, 2007
For Such A Time As This
I am learning that there comes a time in a girls life where she has to set aside all that is and isn't and engage only in the Lord. A time to find all she is and isn't only in the Lord. A time to find her true self only in the Lord. A time to go deeper in His love. To find her true strength and soar.
And for me that time is now. A time to behold His beauty and see my reflection in His face. To see my name etched on the palm of His hand. To see Him extend His scepter and grant my every wish.
Time seems to stand still as He awaits to be with me.
As He awaits to hold me close and whisper sweet things in my ear.
With one stroke of His hand He can take away the dust and impurities revealing the true beauty within. A beauty made for such a time as this.
And for me that time is now. A time to behold His beauty and see my reflection in His face. To see my name etched on the palm of His hand. To see Him extend His scepter and grant my every wish.
Time seems to stand still as He awaits to be with me.
As He awaits to hold me close and whisper sweet things in my ear.
With one stroke of His hand He can take away the dust and impurities revealing the true beauty within. A beauty made for such a time as this.
Jul 12, 2007
Looking Back
Sep. 27, 2006
My Perspective is Changing
I just love it when the Lord speaks. And lately He has been revealing alot to me. My mind is just spinning with all kinds of things.
I'm going thru something spiritual right now and my whole perspective on life is changing. I am seeing things in a different light....The other morning when I woke up I heard the words live a radical life. I still need to study on that somemore, but whatever it is I know my Father is calling me. And I am determined to follow.
Dec. 21, 2006
My Tea Cup
Everyone brought a tea cup to the Christmas tea. We tied our names on them and drew a number that coresponded with a tea cup that had the same number. I got number 11. The idea is to pray for the lady who's name is on the tea cup, being reminded to pray for her everytime you use it. I'll admit, I was disapointed with the tea cup I got cuz it is all white. I thought, how plain and boring it looks. I was really hoping for a more girlie looking one. You know with pinks and flowers. Stuff like that. But, the Lord quickly spoke to my heart saying "Child, this is my cup for you. You got the one I want you to have. This is you. How your sins are as white as snow. You are the bride of Christ and the bride wore white. You are a new creature in Christ."
Dec. 27, 2006
The Beauty of a Girl
Oh, how far I have come from being a girl. A women of God. What is that exactly? If they say that beauty runs deep within, then how far do I have to go to get to it? And where the heck is deep? The past runs deep. Is that where I will find the beauty of a girl that was created to shine? Buried underneath all that rubble. Thrown away like trash forgotten and crumbled.
But wait! If one man's trash is another man's treasure. Then the Lord is that man and I am His treasure! To walk like I am His, To talk like I am His, To embrace His loving arms, To know who I am in Christ, and To see His beauty shine thru and thru is to know that I am loved, I am accepted and I am becoming a girl, a women of God.
My Perspective is Changing
I just love it when the Lord speaks. And lately He has been revealing alot to me. My mind is just spinning with all kinds of things.
I'm going thru something spiritual right now and my whole perspective on life is changing. I am seeing things in a different light....The other morning when I woke up I heard the words live a radical life. I still need to study on that somemore, but whatever it is I know my Father is calling me. And I am determined to follow.
Dec. 21, 2006
My Tea Cup
Everyone brought a tea cup to the Christmas tea. We tied our names on them and drew a number that coresponded with a tea cup that had the same number. I got number 11. The idea is to pray for the lady who's name is on the tea cup, being reminded to pray for her everytime you use it. I'll admit, I was disapointed with the tea cup I got cuz it is all white. I thought, how plain and boring it looks. I was really hoping for a more girlie looking one. You know with pinks and flowers. Stuff like that. But, the Lord quickly spoke to my heart saying "Child, this is my cup for you. You got the one I want you to have. This is you. How your sins are as white as snow. You are the bride of Christ and the bride wore white. You are a new creature in Christ."
Dec. 27, 2006
The Beauty of a Girl
Oh, how far I have come from being a girl. A women of God. What is that exactly? If they say that beauty runs deep within, then how far do I have to go to get to it? And where the heck is deep? The past runs deep. Is that where I will find the beauty of a girl that was created to shine? Buried underneath all that rubble. Thrown away like trash forgotten and crumbled.
But wait! If one man's trash is another man's treasure. Then the Lord is that man and I am His treasure! To walk like I am His, To talk like I am His, To embrace His loving arms, To know who I am in Christ, and To see His beauty shine thru and thru is to know that I am loved, I am accepted and I am becoming a girl, a women of God.
I See You
Speechless, I am taken back to the night I gave myself away to the Lord...I remember sitting there among many women and yet feeling so alone and not noticed. "He notices you" was a word spoken over me a few weeks later. I did not understand then what He is revealing to me now. Thoughts and feelings that I never knew existed. Thoughts and feelings that I can't deny now cuz He's got a hold of my heart and He won't let go. He won't let go...He loves us that much.
Growing up I felt like God wasn't for me. I didn't feel like He was against me either. He was just disappointed with me. As my world got darker and darker His light became dimer and dimer. And yet I knew He was always there. Watching and waiting for me to come to Him and let Him love me with an everlasting, unconditional, true love that only He can give.
But God wasn't for me. He was for everyone else in the church but not me. I had defiled my body and my mind. I felt so dirty. Clothed in filthy rags and thrown away like trash left for dead in a dark alley somewhere where no one cares. They don't even notice you.
"But I notice" He says. "I see you trembling in the night. Where it's so cold your heart is of stone, your body like ice so you can't feel a thing. I see you crying and yet you can't feel the pain as your tears drift from a rocky river where the current is so fast you don't even know what hits you. I see you hurting even though you try to deny it. I see that you have sealed those scars so tight that you don't even know they are there. Scars left unopened but remain the same until I come and pour my healing balm on them. Will you let me? Will you let me seal the scars with my kiss?"
Me? Me. He wants me are the words that played in my mind the night I gave myself to Him. Those are the words I say today as well.
"I see something else" He says to me "I see your Beauty"
O my love, how beautiful you are!
There is no flaw in you!
Song of Solomon 5:7
I will not leave you as orphans
[comfortless,desolate,bereaved,forlorn,helpless]
I will come [back] to you.
John 14:18
That He might present the church
to Himself in glorious splendor, with out spot
or wrinkle or any such things
[that she might be holy and faultless].
Ephesians 5:27
Growing up I felt like God wasn't for me. I didn't feel like He was against me either. He was just disappointed with me. As my world got darker and darker His light became dimer and dimer. And yet I knew He was always there. Watching and waiting for me to come to Him and let Him love me with an everlasting, unconditional, true love that only He can give.
But God wasn't for me. He was for everyone else in the church but not me. I had defiled my body and my mind. I felt so dirty. Clothed in filthy rags and thrown away like trash left for dead in a dark alley somewhere where no one cares. They don't even notice you.
"But I notice" He says. "I see you trembling in the night. Where it's so cold your heart is of stone, your body like ice so you can't feel a thing. I see you crying and yet you can't feel the pain as your tears drift from a rocky river where the current is so fast you don't even know what hits you. I see you hurting even though you try to deny it. I see that you have sealed those scars so tight that you don't even know they are there. Scars left unopened but remain the same until I come and pour my healing balm on them. Will you let me? Will you let me seal the scars with my kiss?"
Me? Me. He wants me are the words that played in my mind the night I gave myself to Him. Those are the words I say today as well.
"I see something else" He says to me "I see your Beauty"
O my love, how beautiful you are!
There is no flaw in you!
Song of Solomon 5:7
I will not leave you as orphans
[comfortless,desolate,bereaved,forlorn,helpless]
I will come [back] to you.
John 14:18
That He might present the church
to Himself in glorious splendor, with out spot
or wrinkle or any such things
[that she might be holy and faultless].
Ephesians 5:27
Jul 8, 2007
We Are The Reason
I am in some kinda spiritual transition. I don't even know what that means exactly but I feel it. Picture a snake shedding its skin. A caterpillar emerging from it's cocoon. A baby bird learning to fly. I feel like my heart is being ripped out and reshaped. Actually it is. Sometimes it's painful and sometimes bitter-sweet.
As I give Him all of me, I get more of Him. Do you know what it is He wants from us? I can totally see now that it's my heart, it's me. This makes sense to me since I am His creation. It's like that song "We are the Reason" says,
"I've finally found a reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him" Today my heart knows that,
"We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
HE IS MY REASON TO LIVE!"
As I give Him all of me, I get more of Him. Do you know what it is He wants from us? I can totally see now that it's my heart, it's me. This makes sense to me since I am His creation. It's like that song "We are the Reason" says,
"I've finally found a reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him" Today my heart knows that,
"We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
HE IS MY REASON TO LIVE!"
Jul 7, 2007
Prayer
Lord, I thank you for this day. And for the many saints that are heeding your call.
May I walk in your presence as it goes before me, behind me and on every side of me yielding to the Holy Spirits direction. As I end my time with you and embrace the 'new' that you have for me let me not be persuaded to follow deceiving spirits that are hidden in the night. But may your light of Glory shine brightly and your word be etched on my heart lighting the path for my feet. You are my Shepard and I long to follow you to the unknown whatever that may be. Reestablish your covenant with Your bride young and old. Pour out Your spiritual rain and let the river of Life flow in and through me and my children. You are my commander in Chief. I cast off every sin that so easily entices me and put on the full armor of God that I may stand in the battle set before me not by might nor by power but by Your Spirit. May Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as in heaven.
In Jesus name
Amen
May I walk in your presence as it goes before me, behind me and on every side of me yielding to the Holy Spirits direction. As I end my time with you and embrace the 'new' that you have for me let me not be persuaded to follow deceiving spirits that are hidden in the night. But may your light of Glory shine brightly and your word be etched on my heart lighting the path for my feet. You are my Shepard and I long to follow you to the unknown whatever that may be. Reestablish your covenant with Your bride young and old. Pour out Your spiritual rain and let the river of Life flow in and through me and my children. You are my commander in Chief. I cast off every sin that so easily entices me and put on the full armor of God that I may stand in the battle set before me not by might nor by power but by Your Spirit. May Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as in heaven.
In Jesus name
Amen
Daddy God
A baby is a beautiful thing.
I was just thinking of how a mother-baby relationship is similar to a relationship between Daddy God and His daughters.
By instinct a mom nourishes, protects, nurtures, and is filled with overwhelming love for her baby. Daddy God nourishes me as I feed on His word. He protects me. He is my shield(Gen.15:1)He takes care of me and loves me with an everlasting, unconditional love. A baby trusts, relies on it's mother to care for, feed, change, and hold it. Resting it's head on the mothers chest the baby feels the warmth of her skin and hears her heartbeat. Resting in it's mothers arms it sleeps peacefully without a care in the world. How much I need to be like a baby and trust Daddy God to take care of me, feed me and to change my dirties creating in me a clean heart. To trust that He is holding me in His big strong arms. To go about my days and nights peacefully without a care in the world.
The mother-baby relationship is an intimate one.
Intimacy is what the Lord wants with me. I am His child adopted into His family. He is my Daddy God.
I was just thinking of how a mother-baby relationship is similar to a relationship between Daddy God and His daughters.
By instinct a mom nourishes, protects, nurtures, and is filled with overwhelming love for her baby. Daddy God nourishes me as I feed on His word. He protects me. He is my shield(Gen.15:1)He takes care of me and loves me with an everlasting, unconditional love. A baby trusts, relies on it's mother to care for, feed, change, and hold it. Resting it's head on the mothers chest the baby feels the warmth of her skin and hears her heartbeat. Resting in it's mothers arms it sleeps peacefully without a care in the world. How much I need to be like a baby and trust Daddy God to take care of me, feed me and to change my dirties creating in me a clean heart. To trust that He is holding me in His big strong arms. To go about my days and nights peacefully without a care in the world.
The mother-baby relationship is an intimate one.
Intimacy is what the Lord wants with me. I am His child adopted into His family. He is my Daddy God.
Jul 6, 2007
All of You for All of Me
God loves me so much and yet I still can't see it. He died for me and yet I still can't forgive. I have come face to face with the King of Glory and yet I still can't believe. Is life really as complicated as it seems or is it me making it more complicated? Is the narrow road really as difficult as it seems or is it me making it more difficult? I don't want to walk through life anymore and I'm tired of running but I want to fly. Oh God how I wanna fly. Give me the strength to emerge from my world and soar on wings of eagles. Give me a heart that beats for You and only You. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear Your voice among many. Give me all of You for all of me. Get me past myself. Whatever it takes God. Whatever it takes. I am Yours.
Jul 3, 2007
Dear Daughter
I made all the delicate inner parts of your body
and I knit you together in your mother's womb.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made
My workmanship is marvelous-and how well I want you to know it.
I watched as you were being formed in utter seclusion
as you were woven together in the dark of the womb.
I saw you before you were born.
Everyday of your life was recorded in My book.
Every moment laid out before a single day had passed by.
How precious are My thoughts about you!
They are innumerable!
You can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when you wake up in the morning, I am still with you!
Made with love,
Your Heavenly Father
Psalm 139:13-18
and I knit you together in your mother's womb.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made
My workmanship is marvelous-and how well I want you to know it.
I watched as you were being formed in utter seclusion
as you were woven together in the dark of the womb.
I saw you before you were born.
Everyday of your life was recorded in My book.
Every moment laid out before a single day had passed by.
How precious are My thoughts about you!
They are innumerable!
You can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when you wake up in the morning, I am still with you!
Made with love,
Your Heavenly Father
Psalm 139:13-18
Jul 1, 2007
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