I See You

Speechless, I am taken back to the night I gave myself away to the Lord...I remember sitting there among many women and yet feeling so alone and not noticed. "He notices you" was a word spoken over me a few weeks later. I did not understand then what He is revealing to me now. Thoughts and feelings that I never knew existed. Thoughts and feelings that I can't deny now cuz He's got a hold of my heart and He won't let go. He won't let go...He loves us that much.
Growing up I felt like God wasn't for me. I didn't feel like He was against me either. He was just disappointed with me. As my world got darker and darker His light became dimer and dimer. And yet I knew He was always there. Watching and waiting for me to come to Him and let Him love me with an everlasting, unconditional, true love that only He can give.
But God wasn't for me. He was for everyone else in the church but not me. I had defiled my body and my mind. I felt so dirty. Clothed in filthy rags and thrown away like trash left for dead in a dark alley somewhere where no one cares. They don't even notice you.
"But I notice" He says. "I see you trembling in the night. Where it's so cold your heart is of stone, your body like ice so you can't feel a thing. I see you crying and yet you can't feel the pain as your tears drift from a rocky river where the current is so fast you don't even know what hits you. I see you hurting even though you try to deny it. I see that you have sealed those scars so tight that you don't even know they are there. Scars left unopened but remain the same until I come and pour my healing balm on them. Will you let me? Will you let me seal the scars with my kiss?"
Me? Me. He wants me are the words that played in my mind the night I gave myself to Him. Those are the words I say today as well.
"I see something else" He says to me "I see your Beauty"

O my love, how beautiful you are!
There is no flaw in you!
Song of Solomon 5:7

I will not leave you as orphans
[comfortless,desolate,bereaved,forlorn,helpless]
I will come [back] to you.
John 14:18

That He might present the church
to Himself in glorious splendor, with out spot
or wrinkle or any such things
[that she might be holy and faultless].
Ephesians 5:27

We Are The Reason

I am in some kinda spiritual transition. I don't even know what that means exactly but I feel it. Picture a snake shedding its skin. A caterpillar emerging from it's cocoon. A baby bird learning to fly. I feel like my heart is being ripped out and reshaped. Actually it is. Sometimes it's painful and sometimes bitter-sweet.
As I give Him all of me, I get more of Him. Do you know what it is He wants from us? I can totally see now that it's my heart, it's me. This makes sense to me since I am His creation. It's like that song "We are the Reason" says,
"I've finally found a reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him" Today my heart knows that,
"We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
HE IS MY REASON TO LIVE!"

Prayer

Lord, I thank you for this day. And for the many saints that are heeding your call.
May I walk in your presence as it goes before me, behind me and on every side of me yielding to the Holy Spirits direction. As I end my time with you and embrace the 'new' that you have for me let me not be persuaded to follow deceiving spirits that are hidden in the night. But may your light of Glory shine brightly and your word be etched on my heart lighting the path for my feet. You are my Shepard and I long to follow you to the unknown whatever that may be. Reestablish your covenant with Your bride young and old. Pour out Your spiritual rain and let the river of Life flow in and through me and my children. You are my commander in Chief. I cast off every sin that so easily entices me and put on the full armor of God that I may stand in the battle set before me not by might nor by power but by Your Spirit. May Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as in heaven.
In Jesus name
Amen

Daddy God

A baby is a beautiful thing.
I was just thinking of how a mother-baby relationship is similar to a relationship between Daddy God and His daughters.
By instinct a mom nourishes, protects, nurtures, and is filled with overwhelming love for her baby. Daddy God nourishes me as I feed on His word. He protects me. He is my shield(Gen.15:1)He takes care of me and loves me with an everlasting, unconditional love. A baby trusts, relies on it's mother to care for, feed, change, and hold it. Resting it's head on the mothers chest the baby feels the warmth of her skin and hears her heartbeat. Resting in it's mothers arms it sleeps peacefully without a care in the world. How much I need to be like a baby and trust Daddy God to take care of me, feed me and to change my dirties creating in me a clean heart. To trust that He is holding me in His big strong arms. To go about my days and nights peacefully without a care in the world.
The mother-baby relationship is an intimate one.
Intimacy is what the Lord wants with me. I am His child adopted into His family. He is my Daddy God.

All of You for All of Me

God loves me so much and yet I still can't see it. He died for me and yet I still can't forgive. I have come face to face with the King of Glory and yet I still can't believe. Is life really as complicated as it seems or is it me making it more complicated? Is the narrow road really as difficult as it seems or is it me making it more difficult? I don't want to walk through life anymore and I'm tired of running but I want to fly. Oh God how I wanna fly. Give me the strength to emerge from my world and soar on wings of eagles. Give me a heart that beats for You and only You. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear Your voice among many. Give me all of You for all of me. Get me past myself. Whatever it takes God. Whatever it takes. I am Yours.

Dear Daughter

I made all the delicate inner parts of your body
and I knit you together in your mother's womb.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made
My workmanship is marvelous-and how well I want you to know it.
I watched as you were being formed in utter seclusion
as you were woven together in the dark of the womb.
I saw you before you were born.
Everyday of your life was recorded in My book.
Every moment laid out before a single day had passed by.
How precious are My thoughts about you!
They are innumerable!
You can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when you wake up in the morning, I am still with you!

Made with love,
Your Heavenly Father

Psalm 139:13-18

July Verse

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ~ Colossians 1:15