A Thankful Heart

I am gonna try something new. When I pray I will only pray thankful prayers and thats it. I got this idea from my sister. I started last night and will continue through out November. In doing this I hope to rid myself of negative, complaining, discontent, unbelieving prayers to God. And change my way of thinking to a thankful heart.

Church

God is totally changing my idea of church. My idea of church is only a mere human idea that exists in so many ways to glorify man, not the creator of the universe, the creator of church and all.
I realize that I have been carrying an unseen guilt this whole time. I am guilty...

For attending another churches woman's ministry...And I like it.
For attending another church the past couple of weeks.
For being able to discern the voice of God...sometimes so easily.
For listening to motivational speakers and other pastors messages.
For preaching and teaching that don't follow the order of the Book.
For seeing in the spirit.
For my enthusiasm when it comes to Him.
For being bored in certain christian circles.

Man, this list can go on and on and on. I have a lifetime of what man's idea of church is since I grew up in the church. With so many differences and different opinions I was taught that where ever I landed was the right one and all others are not in there right mind. Think about it, is this not what your church is teaching??
If you think not then I challenge you to think again. Oh they ain't gonna tell you straight up, they can't. But if you notice it comes out in other deceiving, manipulative ways. I am not saying that all churches are like this.
The guilt that I carry is man's idea not God's. And I don't want to be entangled in this humanistic, legalistic, prejudice thinking anymore. I want to follow His idea of what the church is and what it looks like. I want to be apart of the Holy Spirits church, the one most like Christ, the One that glorifys His name.

Cup of Blessings

I had one of those phenomenal days yesterday. It was just outa this world to me. I went back to my friends church again. No, I'm not switching churches, at least not that I know of. God hasn't showed me to leave my home church. But I am asking God to confirm that to me and to help me understand what He is doing right now.
I am not and was not looking to leave my home church when I visited this other church. I just did not expect to like it soooo much. I did not expect to see God so much at work in my life thru going there just 2 times. The plan as of now is for the whole family to visit there next weekend. I actually think my husband will love it.

So the whole reason I went back is cuz when I visited the first time, during worship He told me to "come back" and that He had something for me here. Doubtful that I even heard from Him correctly and scared cuz I thought He was wanting me to switch churches, I decided I wouldn't reason. And come the following Sunday He would again put it strongly on my heart to go back. And He did.

Anyways, the womens group there that is studying that Grace & Truth book gave me one so I can work on it this week. I am so excited about that. I hope to post my thoughts/notes, then again, I plan on blogging a lot of things that I never seem to get to.
I got to hook up with a couple ladies to attend C.R again. I will be going tonight for the first time in awhile. This is what I believe He had for me. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. But then theres more...
During worship He told me twice to "take this cup He has for me. It's filled with blessings." I didnt understand this but I have learned enough that if it's really His voice I am hearing(not audible) then He will reveal more whenever and however He wants and it will all come to pass.
I went out to lunch with a friend and at the end the waiter told her the gentleman that just left paid for our ticket. That was 7 of us including our children.
He is actually the worship pastor at her church. I wanted to cry. This took me back to when God first revealed Himself to me in a way I never experienced b4. And I reminisced how He loved on me that cloudy day in IHOP too.
Driving home I knew that the cup of blessings is filled with His goodness towards me.
And I think theres a lot more where that came from!

Girl of Truth & Grace

Sometimes I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. Somehow He makes me feel so special with the way He watches over me and my family. How He just leads and guides us and is forever there where ever we may go.
Recently I visited a friends church on a Sunday morning. I thought I was going to the first service but it turned out they only had one worship service which started at 11:00. I was there at 9:30, for the Lifegroup(small groups) time. I had two of my boys with me. The oldest went to the youth group and the other went to children's while I braved the long walk to the woman's only group.
Turns out they were studying a book by Randy Alcorn on truth and grace. Well the H.S had just started opening my eyes to what truth is a couple weeks ago. I still don't understand it all but I see how He is leading me into the truth of what truth really is. So far I got,
1. Truth is His Word
2. There is the whole truth. This is where it gets kinda tricky for me cuz if the
whole truth is there then there is a lot of Christians that claim to know the truth
and even go around preaching that truth to others but they themselves do not even
believe in the whole truth. What I am seeing is that so many of us pick and
choose what we want to believe out of the whole truth and leave the rest. And
this leads me to the third thing.
3. I'm not sure we will ever come to know the full truth until we reach heaven. Or can we?

So I'm at this church I never been to b4, in a small group, studying on truth and grace. I learned that you can't have truth without grace and you can't have grace without truth, there must be a balance. A verse that God pointed out to me is from John 1:14 - And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
So why do I feel so lucky? Somewhere in between my home church and Royal Identity(not my church nor the one I visited this past Sunday) there is being created in me a balance. As one girl put it, I get the best of both worlds. And this makes me feel so special. How He called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light in a world that is still searching for something more....
Lead me on and I will follow hard after You!

The Non-Addictive Drug

In my last post I talked about how challenging L.G. was for me.

So, wut was said that caused my uneasy feelings?

Well, first someone mentions the non-addictive drug. Call me stupid but I didn't know that weed was non-addictive. Back in the day I did not care about the scientifics of it(still don't) ya just smoked it. But now I understand that you can't get physically addicted to it. This is not to be confused with how it can become an addiction. Would one be able to walk in a 12 steps meeting and say they do the non-addictive drug??
This is where I started to feel just a little uneasy(but didn't realize it at the time)as it almost seemed like it was being dumbed down. I actually have an adult family member that is addicted to weed. At one point he tried stopping and his personality totally changed for the worse.

Lifegroup

L.G. was so challenging for me the last time I was there. I think it's so amazing how you can be in a conversation with a group of ppl, such as L.G., and no one really knowing how much there words are effecting ppl. In fact it was so challenging for me that I sat there thinking of how "I won't be coming back here for awhile."

*Religious Sidenote* the challenge is not with the ppl. *End Religious Sidenote*

It is far to easy to run away when the going gets tough...
However, that's the sissy way out and I am not a wimp! So I am going to continue to go and it may be challenging for me at times but that's where my growth will also occur. And also cuz I know that God wants me to go, for this very reason no doubt.