Girl of Truth & Grace

Sometimes I feel like the luckiest girl on earth. Somehow He makes me feel so special with the way He watches over me and my family. How He just leads and guides us and is forever there where ever we may go.
Recently I visited a friends church on a Sunday morning. I thought I was going to the first service but it turned out they only had one worship service which started at 11:00. I was there at 9:30, for the Lifegroup(small groups) time. I had two of my boys with me. The oldest went to the youth group and the other went to children's while I braved the long walk to the woman's only group.
Turns out they were studying a book by Randy Alcorn on truth and grace. Well the H.S had just started opening my eyes to what truth is a couple weeks ago. I still don't understand it all but I see how He is leading me into the truth of what truth really is. So far I got,
1. Truth is His Word
2. There is the whole truth. This is where it gets kinda tricky for me cuz if the
whole truth is there then there is a lot of Christians that claim to know the truth
and even go around preaching that truth to others but they themselves do not even
believe in the whole truth. What I am seeing is that so many of us pick and
choose what we want to believe out of the whole truth and leave the rest. And
this leads me to the third thing.
3. I'm not sure we will ever come to know the full truth until we reach heaven. Or can we?

So I'm at this church I never been to b4, in a small group, studying on truth and grace. I learned that you can't have truth without grace and you can't have grace without truth, there must be a balance. A verse that God pointed out to me is from John 1:14 - And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
So why do I feel so lucky? Somewhere in between my home church and Royal Identity(not my church nor the one I visited this past Sunday) there is being created in me a balance. As one girl put it, I get the best of both worlds. And this makes me feel so special. How He called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light in a world that is still searching for something more....
Lead me on and I will follow hard after You!

The Non-Addictive Drug

In my last post I talked about how challenging L.G. was for me.

So, wut was said that caused my uneasy feelings?

Well, first someone mentions the non-addictive drug. Call me stupid but I didn't know that weed was non-addictive. Back in the day I did not care about the scientifics of it(still don't) ya just smoked it. But now I understand that you can't get physically addicted to it. This is not to be confused with how it can become an addiction. Would one be able to walk in a 12 steps meeting and say they do the non-addictive drug??
This is where I started to feel just a little uneasy(but didn't realize it at the time)as it almost seemed like it was being dumbed down. I actually have an adult family member that is addicted to weed. At one point he tried stopping and his personality totally changed for the worse.

Lifegroup

L.G. was so challenging for me the last time I was there. I think it's so amazing how you can be in a conversation with a group of ppl, such as L.G., and no one really knowing how much there words are effecting ppl. In fact it was so challenging for me that I sat there thinking of how "I won't be coming back here for awhile."

*Religious Sidenote* the challenge is not with the ppl. *End Religious Sidenote*

It is far to easy to run away when the going gets tough...
However, that's the sissy way out and I am not a wimp! So I am going to continue to go and it may be challenging for me at times but that's where my growth will also occur. And also cuz I know that God wants me to go, for this very reason no doubt.

War

Theirs this thing in me
That I just cant see
yet it feels so real
Cuz well its reality

And after all these years
I finally come to see
the truth that's always been
the truth that's from heaven

Darn it! If only my words can tell
the way that I'm feeling
oh how You know me so well

Just when I think I'm having fun
You stop me in the middle of my life
to say "your done"

If only it was as easy as pie
I'd smoke another joint and get so high
And don't forget bout the coke and the crank
but to live in that mental addictive state
would only feed on my self hate

But wait
Is it so wrong
to wanna have a lil fun
At least it would take away the pain that Im feeling
the one that tells me Im hurting

I'm tired of all the mental confusion
the restless nights
and all this delusion
that keeps from knowing the truth

Truth - the only one that soothes the pain
Truth - the only one that keeps me sain
Truth - the reason why I fight
Truth - the thing that gives me insight
Truth - the reason why I've come so far
Truth - the reason I'm at WAR!

What's Pride Got To Do With It?

I think it was last Friday when God started working on this thing in me called pride. I had a revelation or something of how easily the spirit is grieved by my words. It saddened me that I would sadden Him like that. I'm just so thankful that He revealed this to me and that I can repent and receive forgiveness for my sins.
Since then He has revealed another area of my life that I have been prideful in as well. I am asking Him to humble me and continue to take out the pride that lurks deep within. I got a book on humility that's called umm, Humility, the forgotten virtue. My plan is to not just read thru it this time but to approach it more like a study and take that time to meditate on His Words of this sin called pride.

So I just thought of something. I think my blog could totally be renamed from Love~N~Beauty to What's Pride Got To Do With It?

Now I Stand

This is the song. I really had to take a step back and ask Him what are you telling me? And He said, Remember and stand in who you are in Me as you go thru this time of inner healing.


I have lived in the dust at His feet
Always thinking of the pain that caused His Heart
Many mocked as the perfume so sweet
Poured from my broken alabaster jar
You could hear the laughter of the enemy as he stole my dignity
But a greater voice said lift your head
As His hand reached out to me

Now I stand in the fullness of His grace
And He washes over me with the blood that sets me free
Now I stand as a priest and as a king
He has clothed me with His robe
Its the righteousness of God
I know who I am so I stand

I was clothed in a garment of shame
And the chains of my sin had left me bound
To weak to run I fell calling His name
A broken alabaster jar was all He found
But you could hear the army of the angels sing
When He restored my dignity
He dressed me as His spotless bride
It was a holy victory

Now I stand in the fullness of His grace
And He washes over me with the blood that sets me free
Now I stand as a priest and as a king
He has clothed me with His robe
Its the rightousness of God
I know who I am so I stand

Circle of Shame

In this vision I again saw myself with chains wrapped around my wrists and hands. I was dirty and wearing some white clothing that was all raggedy. I was standing in the middle of a circle and all around me was every guy in my life that ever did me wrong or I had sexual relations with. They were all laughing at me. Full of shame I fell to the ground in agony. Standing in front of me was Jesus. He reached out His hand, I took it and followed Him out of the circle.

The story that came to mind was when the pharisees took the adulterous woman to Jesus to be condemned. I sensed that this vision and the other one(heavens court) went together but wasn't certain. Until....He gave me a song.